Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML
Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
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Top comments
BauerMegan 31
Some people just can't handle rejection.
slooby_fml 25
Prove them all wrong
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Comments (119)
spartangrl 6
well you could go with it and say that she has a third nipple or something and you couldn't get hard... grower not a shower. lol or just be boring and tell the truth :P
AllegroRubato 16
Well OP, I'm sure you're glad that she didn't accuse you of "friend-zoning" her. As the internet has taught us, that's the TRUE mark of a villain! I'm sure you wouldn't want to deal with THAT level of evil now, would you?
k_mcmath 3
I mean, FYL. if she's as bad as you say she is, then you may have a lot more rumors about you heading your way. My advice, fight fire with fire. If she wants to talk about you, you talk about her. ex: say she's a *****
LGuard 13
That's illegal, it's called libel and falls under sexual harassment too. She clearly doesn't deserve a shot at a future so man the **** up and get her dealt with.
deathskittlez 6
You should tell everyone that she's a hermaphrodite or has "ambiguous" genitalia. Or even better, tell them she has a false phallus like a hyena.
drshn 22
You are one lucky guy.. turning down a date when a girl asks..!! Are you ******* kidding me..
BlissfulLiss 18
That's really petty of her. At least the stalking didn't escalate once she got rejected.
The_9th_Doctor 18
some women are witches
bigmike25 11
Good thing you rejected her because she sounds like a damn stalker.
CptSandwich 6
that's actually pretty damn sad