Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML
Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
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Top comments
BauerMegan 31
Some people just can't handle rejection.
slooby_fml 25
Prove them all wrong
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Comments (119)
olpally 33
Just ignore the crazy bitch, she'll eventually go away.
1deep4life 11
That's what Willie lump lump thought too..... Poor Willie lump lump
Shrike 24
For all the times you must have heard the phrase "no means no, asshole!" you still don't really seem to get it, do you?
keverdeen 14
Sounds like that girl is stuck in a high school mentality.
DrownedMyFish 18
Two can play that game, OP. Start telling everybody about how you ended your relationship with her because of her habit of bathing only once every month.
worldclassrager 41
Tough love...she'll quit hopefully soon...maybe giving her one chance may not have been a bad idea...or get with someone to prove her wrong.,,
myoukei 31
Because guys can't say anything about a girl that would ruin her reputation either...
kitsuneluvuh 12
Obviously, you must start showing everyone your penis so that they know her words are untrue. Unless that part is true, in which case you should maybe just ignore her.
KiddNYC1O 22
When in doubt, just whip it out.
tragicnightmare 15
rock out with your **** out
pinguino3669_fml 23
He clearly wasn't interested in her, and after doing a feat like that, who would want to date a lying jerk?
SamanthaNGoree 10
Whip it out and prove her wrong.