Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML
Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
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Top comments
BauerMegan 31
Some people just can't handle rejection.
slooby_fml 25
Prove them all wrong
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Comments (119)
ShakeDisPlace 10
I can imagine this happening in highschool but college!? Wow. tell everyone she has gangrene in her va jay jay.
Eivana 37
Don't even listen to it. If that is the kind of person she is, I bet she's done this kind of thing before and everyone who knows her doubts her, and the ones who don't know her probably don't care anyway.
gunnerblaster 21
Those that matter, won't care. Those that care, don't matter.
tgstorm 12
As long as they know you're sane and she's not, you'll be fine
pinguino3669_fml 23
Well it would be semi-awkward dating your stalker
wednesdaychica06 9
you should have killed her ego by saying... "you just have a big ****** you didn't feel it go in"
AzWolf 5
Proof's in the puddin'!
JoshuahColins 19
Just don't care. "I heard that you have a small penis." "No, I told her I didn't want to date her and so she started spreading rumors about me..." "Wow, that's low.... Can I touch your junk?" "Of course!" See, don't sweat it bro.
mr_jack_meoff 5
What's wrong with having another notch on the bedpost. At least the chicks now know you aren't gay and not all chicks have a problem with small penis. Having a huge penis is over rated. Most of the time they put their hand back there to keep me from going too deep. Be thankful someone actually said they ****** ya.
vegeta77 4
Sure they do. Your fantasy life sounds interesting.
StanSmith2013 26
Why not get it out and disprove her? Someone on my campus had to for the same reason,