Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML
Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
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Top comments
BauerMegan 31
Some people just can't handle rejection.
slooby_fml 25
Prove them all wrong
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Comments (119)
kidsgotastinky 11
That's crazy women for ya
Axel5238 29
I feel bad for the OP had a girl whom I was friends with start stalking me in college it was really uncomfortable. She didn't take the hint that we weren't gonna date. She finally did get it, but it wasn't easy. She didn't see personality wise and interest wise we were not gonna get along. This happens to guys as well and people think it isn't just as uncomfortable especially if they start rumors. Some rumors don't stick around, but sometimes they do and it can be pretty damaging to someone's personal life. Thankfully, the rumor for the OP wasn't that bad. Some women will make up some absolutely crazy stories out of spite.
accountnamevalid 3
This happened to my boyfriend before we started dating. There is no good way to make it go away, but not feeding the for will make it go away faster, and make people think you're a gentleman who took the high road.
gumbum98 2
Look out everyone, we have another Taylor Swift on our hands...
thisgirl97 7
Should've just went on a pity date, to get it out of her system.
KylarStern19 7
That's why u **** a girl and have her spreading the truth
thewife5 19
You're in college.. You probably do have a small penis.. It happens
an3ph 20
Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned.
phoneYuNOlisten 16
"Make the joke before you become the joke." -NobodyEpic
DoughtyPine 1
I envy you so much, let me tell you why, I got a big dick. And I've always wanted this to happen (I have an amazing girlfriend now though) just so I could whip it out in front of a bunch of people and yell in a gravelly, raspy voice "TINY NEEDS AIR!!"