Love: Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the... - FML

By Crossy - 23/08/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 530

You deserved it 36 539

Compromises

Bye Herbie

Bottom of the list

Tough times

By Asha Toone - 31/01/2021 08:02

Today, I started noticing how unnecessarily hard it is to get a basic job such as a cashier or server, even though you already have experience in that field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 73

By niii - 26/11/2008 04:26 - France

Spicy

Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 117

You deserved it 13 945

By ForeverAlone - 06/03/2013 22:28 - United States - O Fallon

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 850

You deserved it 2 788

SK8 OR DIE

By TeenaIs - 25/10/2019 16:00

Today, I asked a random guy at the skate park if he knew anyone who could sell me some weed. Turns out he was a parole officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 2 816

By jules - 10/03/2011 07:53 - United States

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 152

You deserved it 5 014

By Noname - 11/03/2009 05:21 - United States

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 413

You deserved it 3 796

By college will be fun they said - 15/09/2017 19:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was running late to class and slipped down a staircase. Not only did nobody help me, but when I got up I noticed an old man staring at my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 550

You deserved it 406

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 814

You deserved it 6 060

By sad - 24/04/2009 08:18 - United States

Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 156

You deserved it 3 943

By icandothecancan - 21/06/2014 23:14 - United States - Duncan

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 544

You deserved it 6 113

By Bob - 11/04/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 686

You deserved it 9 753

By Anonymous - 27/03/2012 15:54 - Australia - Perth

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 686

You deserved it 4 818

By ldn - 21/03/2013 17:54 - Slovenia - Domzale

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 529

You deserved it 12 930

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 21:55 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 168

You deserved it 4 557

By sigh - 24/01/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 602

You deserved it 2 492

Drama abounds

By Anonymous - 02/04/2020 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years threatened to break up with me because when she came by my work, she saw me talking to another girl. The girl was a trainee. I'm the boss of the company, so it's my responsibility to train new people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 322

You deserved it 6 648

By wtf - 07/01/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 520

You deserved it 3 595

By anonymous - 04/07/2012 14:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 132

You deserved it 34 530

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 706

You deserved it 11 903

By WentInABush - 15/11/2012 07:23 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 327

You deserved it 3 219

By countryblumpkin - 01/08/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Spicy

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 901

You deserved it 7 136

By Fluffyman - 10/08/2019 04:00

Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 07/07/2009 11:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 790

You deserved it 62 878

By OnlyAvailableID - 08/02/2015 08:35 - Australia

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 991

You deserved it 3 659

By kcd - 23/02/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 842

You deserved it 57 113

By Henry - 11/11/2011 22:29 - Norway

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 928

You deserved it 45 644

By fleur_de_fevrier - 21/12/2008 15:36 - Ireland

Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 24 067

By Anonymous - 08/09/2015 22:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 748

You deserved it 2 855

By Cat Ashes - 05/12/2013 05:18 - United States - Dewitt

Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 694

You deserved it 2 782

By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 790

You deserved it 41 571

By hockey - 26/11/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I left my new iphone in a taxi I was sharing with a friend. Apparently when I got out she looked at it, told the driver some one had left it and gave it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 842

You deserved it 5 461

By raz - 02/10/2012 00:11 - United States - Fargo

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 2 621

By anthony512 - 24/05/2013 16:08 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 905

You deserved it 12 721

By ohemmgeee - 31/12/2010 11:11 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 030

You deserved it 5 227

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 17:37 - Australia - Engadine

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 338

You deserved it 1 821

By Tise81 - 22/06/2019 14:00 - Netherlands - Drachten

Today, my 18-year-old son got his first tattoo. I would have loved it, if it wasn't a text on his hand with a glaring spelling mistake in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 193

By -____- - 05/10/2013 21:28 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 219

You deserved it 7 378

By mcfaily - 27/02/2010 20:45 - Canada

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 2 395

By Maxie - 08/03/2013 01:55 - United States - Chesterland

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 652

You deserved it 2 547

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Sunday 23 August 2009 17:25

Who is modding all of these stupid FML's?

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Sunday 23 August 2009 17:22

Wait, does that mean you wear skirts? I dont get it..

Comments

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Sunday 23 August 2009 17:22

Wait, does that mean you wear skirts? I dont get it..

repyourcliche 0

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Sunday 23 August 2009 18:44

Yes... unless she was joking.

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Sunday 23 August 2009 20:28

That, or pictures of her with no skirt OR pants on. What's with all these weird and bogus ones getting through?

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Sunday 23 August 2009 21:46

i think it might mean that she has pictures of the guy in a skirt....

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Monday 24 August 2009 5:24

Ack, if he wore the "skirt" he should just pass it off as a kilt, Afterall, real men wear kilts!

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Monday 24 August 2009 8:35

yeah I think she means HE wears the skirt...maybe she has a pic of him in one? LOL

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Tuesday 25 August 2009 2:54

I had the same question. I think it means she has pictures of him in a skirt, but when I first read it, I assumed she meant she had pictures of herself in no skirt, which means... YDI for not playing it off properly. And for wearing a skirt.

Paradoxasaurus 0

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Sunday 20 February 2011 16:19

I say cross dressing fetish. What a shoddy FML.

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Tuesday 12 July 2011 4:35

They probably were just messing around with gender roles, tried something new and he liked it!

jojocircus19 16

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Sunday 27 December 2015 5:16

Thanks man

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Tuesday 16 February 2016 6:51

OP's name is crossy. Safe bet she has photo evidence of him in skirts.

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Sunday 23 August 2009 17:24

does that mean she's a slut?

thatwasobvious 0

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Sunday 23 August 2009 20:20

Woman is synonymous for slut.

kisseshugsdrugs 5

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Monday 24 August 2009 2:18

just as men is synonymous with pussywhipped.

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Sunday 23 August 2009 17:25

Who is modding all of these stupid FML's?

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Sunday 23 August 2009 18:53

agreed

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Monday 24 August 2009 6:03

If you don't like them, moderate them yourself, it's an all-for system.

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Sunday 23 August 2009 17:26

I'm pretty sure it means she has photos of the OP wearing a skirt

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Friday 30 March 2012 2:40

you don't say?

Nonamerequired 0

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Sunday 23 August 2009 17:28

in a healthy relationship she shouldn't be wearing anything so what's the problem?

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Sunday 23 August 2009 19:43

haha #5 wins!

livelovelife01 0

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Sunday 23 August 2009 17:31

wtf? you wear a skirt? unless it's a kilt or something it's more like FYourgirlfriend'sL... or maybe I'm understanding this FML wrong...

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Monday 24 August 2009 11:04

It probably WAS a kilt - wore one too once (I've lost a bet) and my ex gf told everyone I wore a skirt. Or there are pictures of her without skirt..or pants...or whatever. Either way, your (OP) girlfriend really has a good sense of humour ;)

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Sunday 23 August 2009 18:36

Hahah. I love wearing the pants. It's fun controlling guys ;)

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Sunday 23 August 2009 22:02

Wear the pants. You will never wear the balls.

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Monday 24 August 2009 1:07

hell yeah, tell her. It's not the pants, it's what's inside

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Friday 22 January 2010 5:52

its not always fun for the guys but like me some guys like havin the girl wear the pants

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Sunday 23 August 2009 18:38

That sucks. But your friend probably thought your girlfriend was just joking. Hopefully, assuming you didn't want him to know. :/ (Which you probably didn't, hence the FML)

junjouromantica 0

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Sunday 23 August 2009 18:42

Who cares who wears what? As long as you both enjoy yourselves. This "manliness" crap bugs me sometimes.

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Sunday 23 August 2009 18:42

# 5 ftw :)

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 15

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 59

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 255