Kids: Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important... - FML

By Daddy - 10/11/2008 12:06 - France

Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 470

You deserved it 59 685

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Same thing different taste

Prank or brain melt?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Woodstock

Today, my son texted me that he couldn't find his phone, so I went to go help him look for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 908

By copycat - 19/03/2015 05:05 - United States - Norco

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 663

You deserved it 50 588

By oh, shit...... - 02/02/2016 20:27 - Denmark - Bagsv?rd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 408

You deserved it 1 988

By Gottalovepeople - 31/12/2017 01:34

Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 185

You deserved it 2 313

Keynote

By Andrew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 464

You deserved it 5 577

Little shit

By emmalou - 29/08/2022 06:00

Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 06:17 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 393

You deserved it 8 300

ETA? No idea!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 02:00

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 391

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 161

Losing my mind

By rawr - 30/10/2019 18:00

Today, I managed to lose a 3XL fleece jacket in my house, which had my wallet and car keys in it. I had the pleasure of explaining this to my boss when I had to call in, after everyone I called did not respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 354

Next

Top comments

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:41

Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.

F14Shado 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:05

I think that means beating..

Comments

_shit_happens_ 0

Friday 27 March 2009 4:15

a row?

Daft_Punk709 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 2:08

FIRST!!! (to comment to the first comment)

Xuphra 0

Monday 10 May 2010 23:58

Hope you learned OP. ******* idiot.

grrrrmetigers 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 2:56

it means a fight!

I_lost_the_game 25

Monday 9 July 2012 0:35

You can't give someone a row, so I'm guessing that in this situation, it doesn't mean a fight.

BeforeItWasCool 12

Monday 3 December 2012 2:17

In some parts of Europe to give someone a row means to tell them off, or to argue.

F14Shado 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:05

I think that means beating..

peceout 29

Tuesday 28 October 2014 8:12

I'm sorry, but reading this FML makes me mad. You should never, and I mean never beat your kids. It makes me sick.

natyemi15 15

Saturday 1 November 2014 3:25

idk, corporeal punishment has some benefits I mean, it did me some good. I'm not in jail :)

thatonetribute 31

Thursday 21 May 2015 19:48

A row is a fight. Not beating.

GamingTroller101 12

Thursday 16 June 2016 13:10

If it does, then he should pay him back with something like money or perhaps a game.

Phantom034 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:12

Kid might be holding that over your head for a little while.

rcbarnes 24

Friday 2 March 2012 3:27

And if the kid doesn't I hope his mother does!

Boomi 38

Wednesday 14 September 2016 17:40

I know I would.

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:41

Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.

frozenshake 5

Thursday 16 December 2010 4:58

lol "row"

ihaswaffle 0

Friday 29 April 2011 2:06

ahahahaha

adameeo 21

Thursday 10 January 2013 6:49

Lol! I lost it when I read this.

MukyDaCookie 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 20:06

AHAHAHHA your kids going to grow up to be a drug dealer and probably be in the system before his 16th birthday. Have fun paying bail

LiLOnE 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:47

wtf is row

camiwami 0

Monday 22 August 2011 7:58

U should read number 4 and learn a new word!

jkilla6 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 10:44

he told the kid off people. i bet you felt like an ass, i've done the same sort of thing so many times.

noha_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 6:20

my mum always does the same thing to me and it pisses me off like hell. YDI and he should probably give you a "row" now whatever that is.

PaperxHearts_xox 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 23:34

My mother does that all the time. and to give a row means a beating, spanking, general discipline. but at least you know to check your pockets before blaming someone.

leh9 2

Wednesday 2 November 2011 2:59

Everyone listen to dis guy

derailed 1

Thursday 30 April 2009 1:01

I give myself a row all the time

CharlesScene 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 20:21

I can give you one too.... heh heh

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, my boyfriend admitted to purposely sabotaging all my weight loss efforts. When I confronted him, he said it’s because he doesn’t want me to get thin and turn into one of those stuck up, snobby, mean girl types that wouldn’t date him in high school. We’re in our 30s dude, get over it! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 136

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 543

You deserved it 4 993

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 060

You deserved it 63 991

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 172

You deserved it 5 171

Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 540

You deserved it 822

Today, I’ve spent ages trying to achieve the shade of red hair, getting various similar tattoos, and getting green contacts so I can be the exact replica of the girl my ex-fiancé left me for so I can win him back. He still prefers to be with her. What else am I missing then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 2 940