Kids: Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important... - FML

By Daddy - 10/11/2008 12:06 - France

Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 472

You deserved it 59 700

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Same thing different taste

Prank or brain melt?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Woodstock

Today, my son texted me that he couldn't find his phone, so I went to go help him look for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 925

By copycat - 19/03/2015 05:05 - United States - Norco

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 668

You deserved it 50 605

By oh, shit...... - 02/02/2016 20:27 - Denmark - Bagsv?rd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 1 989

By Gottalovepeople - 31/12/2017 01:34

Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 190

You deserved it 2 327

Revenge?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 07:06 - Canada

Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 730

You deserved it 5 076

Keynote

By Andrew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 481

You deserved it 5 597

Little shit

By emmalou - 29/08/2022 06:00

Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 235

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 06:17 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 406

You deserved it 8 305

ETA? No idea!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 02:00

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 408

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 192

Next

Top comments

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:41

Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.

F14Shado 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:05

I think that means beating..

Comments

_shit_happens_ 0

Friday 27 March 2009 4:15

a row?

Daft_Punk709 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 2:08

FIRST!!! (to comment to the first comment)

Xuphra 0

Monday 10 May 2010 23:58

Hope you learned OP. ******* idiot.

grrrrmetigers 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 2:56

it means a fight!

I_lost_the_game 25

Monday 9 July 2012 0:35

You can't give someone a row, so I'm guessing that in this situation, it doesn't mean a fight.

BeforeItWasCool 12

Monday 3 December 2012 2:17

In some parts of Europe to give someone a row means to tell them off, or to argue.

F14Shado 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:05

I think that means beating..

peceout 29

Tuesday 28 October 2014 8:12

I'm sorry, but reading this FML makes me mad. You should never, and I mean never beat your kids. It makes me sick.

natyemi15 15

Saturday 1 November 2014 3:25

idk, corporeal punishment has some benefits I mean, it did me some good. I'm not in jail :)

thatonetribute 31

Thursday 21 May 2015 19:48

A row is a fight. Not beating.

GamingTroller101 12

Thursday 16 June 2016 13:10

If it does, then he should pay him back with something like money or perhaps a game.

Phantom034 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:12

Kid might be holding that over your head for a little while.

rcbarnes 24

Friday 2 March 2012 3:27

And if the kid doesn't I hope his mother does!

Boomi 38

Wednesday 14 September 2016 17:40

I know I would.

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:41

Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.

frozenshake 5

Thursday 16 December 2010 4:58

lol "row"

ihaswaffle 0

Friday 29 April 2011 2:06

ahahahaha

adameeo 21

Thursday 10 January 2013 6:49

Lol! I lost it when I read this.

MukyDaCookie 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 20:06

AHAHAHHA your kids going to grow up to be a drug dealer and probably be in the system before his 16th birthday. Have fun paying bail

LiLOnE 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:47

wtf is row

camiwami 0

Monday 22 August 2011 7:58

U should read number 4 and learn a new word!

jkilla6 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 10:44

he told the kid off people. i bet you felt like an ass, i've done the same sort of thing so many times.

noha_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 6:20

my mum always does the same thing to me and it pisses me off like hell. YDI and he should probably give you a "row" now whatever that is.

PaperxHearts_xox 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 23:34

My mother does that all the time. and to give a row means a beating, spanking, general discipline. but at least you know to check your pockets before blaming someone.

leh9 2

Wednesday 2 November 2011 2:59

Everyone listen to dis guy

derailed 1

Thursday 30 April 2009 1:01

I give myself a row all the time

CharlesScene 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 20:21

I can give you one too.... heh heh

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 507

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, I realized I'm extremely sexually attracted to my physical therapist. It doesn't help that treatment involves me spending the entire appointment naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 161

Today, I found out on LinkedIn that my dad follows and endorses a successful cousin of ours. I guess I didn't make the cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 121

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I said no that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 936

You deserved it 18 843

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 971

You deserved it 2 601

Today, I was playing card games with some colleagues a won a hand. One mate said jokingly "your mother never loved you!", I replied jokingly "at least your mother loved me"... All of a sudden he punched in the face and said, "don't ever disrespect my mother again". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 277

You deserved it 684

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 532

You deserved it 3 938