By Anonymous - 24/03/2013 21:33 - United States - Lutz

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 163
You deserved it 25 855

Same thing different taste

Top comments

TorisaurusRexxx 10

Well then offer her comfort. Who knows? You may make her happy and things could build to a relationship. Just let her heal.

Now your next step should be just to comfort her. She needs it whether it looks like she does or not.


TorisaurusRexxx 10

Well then offer her comfort. Who knows? You may make her happy and things could build to a relationship. Just let her heal.

I agree, it's not your fault; you didn't know. The best thing you can do is be there for her. (:

Definitely agreed. But OP, don't walk into the friendship with the sole intent of making a move. Even if you end up in the dreaded Friendzone, she'll appreciate you a lot more for respecting her as a person and being her friend just for the sake of friendship, rather than having selfish motives under the guise of friendship.

Dr0reos 8

Good man. Although personally I like to start greasing the wheals right at the funeral, but hey everyone's got there own style.

MagicGiraffe 12

52, I'd call you an idiot for saying that, but your grammar does enough justice.

tjv3 10

I'm conflicted I feel like you should have known but then again I feel bad for you since now you feel like dirt. Try being her friend and in time see where that goes

Now your next step should be just to comfort her. She needs it whether it looks like she does or not.

Even if it was just a break up, OP deserved it because she would need time to recover anyway

lpro 10

He said a few months. IF it was a break up I think he waited enough..

Yes, but an engagement is pretty serious, I think it'd take more than a few months to get over it.

getting engaged is a serious affair? you must be new here.

As long as you backed off and apologized when you found out. But it's generally best to give any girl some time after any kind of breakup before anyone should go after her.

bamagrl410 31

An engagement indicates a serious & committed relationship. People get ready to spend their entire life with the other person. That's not something that's easy to let go of quickly. No matter the reason she isn't in the relationship anymore, I think OP acted a little too soon.

This wasn't really a break up, though. I agree that she may need some space but she also needs comfort to get over a death like this.

jellycorn 13

Well, not everybody can be a legilimens. Apologise, and she should understand.

senor_awesome 14

Horrible timing bro. Offer to help get her through this tough time. That will help with the asshole part.

Steve95401 49

I'm surprised you didn't hear your co-workers talking about her fiance dying.

chlorinegreen 27

Exactly what I was thinking. That's so sad. Comfort her and be a friend that's what she needs.

I know that most likely wasn't meant as a pun, 13, but yikes. So bad... I feel like I might end up in hell just for reading it like that.

49 - what a horrible thing to say. If my fiancée died I would obviously tell the people in my life, including coworkers. How can this be construed as blabbing to get attention? 13 - putting a brave face on in doesn't mean not telling others about the death, it relates to how the person is managing their emotions, for example showing on the outside that they are coping when they are struggling inside. I just can't believe that he didn't hear anybody in the office talking about it as this would only be natural.

Hey, you didn't know. Why would she remove her ring? She could have still worn it in his memory. I would think-- no ring could be seen as an invitation to be flirted with.

chlorinegreen 27

Maybe it's too hard to look at her finger and remember? Maybe she doesn't want to cry anymore. :( poor girl.

jem970 19

I dont wear anything a guy got me while we dated after we break up. I dont like to look at them and remember them. They are my ex's for a reason. I cant even imagine how she feels. She probably cant look at the ring without crying. I understand her perfectly.

enormouselephant 15

Or it could be one of her steps to moving on. I'm sure she's still a mess over it, but the little steps have to start somewhere and I'm guessing that was hers- not an invitation.

pheebs314 17

She might've had to return it too... If it wasn't paid off completely.

@jem The fiance died, so unless she murdered him she would mourn him. Don't you think?

Don't feel bad, at least you're man enough show respect and back off.

lexxiii 17

I don't think you're an asshole. You waited a few months, rather than a day.

Hey how could u have known its cool now just comfort her then u are in

jem970 19

He should not just comfort her to get in her pants or even just for the sole purpose to try and get with her. That is what an asshole does.

Today, a few months after I stopped wearing my engagement ring because my fiancé had died, some dipshit started flirting with me. FML