By SweptWolf - 6/6/2020 23:02

Doomed

Today, my fiancée handed me her engagement ring back and told me she felt like she's pressuring me into marriage, so to make me feel better about it we’re no longer engaged. On top of this, I found out she’s started talking to her ex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1889

You deserved it

143

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Coherence dude, do you have it?

It's the thought that counts

Grow up

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34818

You deserved it

12342

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By fml9124 - 10/7/2020 08:01

Unreasonable

Today, my company published "return to work" procedures for when the pandemic stops. HQ is in Maryland, I live in Arizona. I have worked remotely for the last 8 years. My new boss didn't know this. He wants me to move back to Maryland or find another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2037

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Southfield

Today, I found out it's possible to dislocate your jaw just by yawning. Now I'm in the ER, looking like a total psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13225

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1377

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By Abby - United States - Watertown

Today, my employer gave me a gift to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my hire date. It would have been a really nice gesture if they weren't laying me off at the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2763

You deserved it

133

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11110

You deserved it

67778

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By pits

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28682

You deserved it

4913

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By Ace - Canada - Toronto

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45115

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8916

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By E

Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9347

You deserved it

771

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By Festivaler - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was at a music festival, and my mum had told me not to to drink. Someone threw a cup of beer at me, and I was worried about smelling of alcohol. It's okay though, because a second cup of urine took the alcohol smell right away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53102

You deserved it

4420

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25231

You deserved it

2898

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By annonoymus - Australia

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14686

You deserved it

46933

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By Disgusted - United States

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32147

You deserved it

10707

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41196

You deserved it

5882

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 17:01 - Australia

Professional

Today, I sent an email to a private escort, only to later realise that I sent it off my work email. FML

I agree, your life sucks

218

You deserved it

1499

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31566

You deserved it

6231

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By Anonymous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

I agree, your life sucks

79769

You deserved it

11753

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By screaming monkey - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34195

You deserved it

2092

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By Michelle - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

69628

You deserved it

17422

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By axel519 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27947

You deserved it

3038

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By ihateteenagers - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50428

You deserved it

10019

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By why - United States

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57359

You deserved it

5481

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By kidneystoner - United States

Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35549

You deserved it

2389

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had not choice but to poop himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he pooped in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30292

You deserved it

5345

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By AuraOfJustice - United States

Today, I was texting a girl I like. Every message she sent came ten minutes after I sent her a message. When I told her "I've to go", she responded almost instantly with an "Ok, bye". FML

I agree, your life sucks

37163

You deserved it

9819

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By Oopsie

Today, nine hours into a ten-hour shift, I accidentally told a customer, "You're a problem!" instead of, "You're welcome!" or, "No problem!" She gave me a dirty look and hurried off before I could correct myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1434

You deserved it

220

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By leaannec30 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I thought my car was overheating. I then thought it was wise to put my hand close to my muffler to feel the heat. Needless to say, I stuck my entire hand on my muffler then had to drive around with the only cold thing in my car. A cold beer from my cooler. Yes, I got pulled over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6731

You deserved it

11752

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By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11774

You deserved it

20717

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By SilverRaven77 - 19/1/2021 23:01

Backwards world

Today, I was fired from my job for wearing a mask. The manager said I must have Covid, since I was the only one wearing a mask and following state mandated orders. I told him, "I'll see you in court!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1179

You deserved it

133

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By just great...

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

I agree, your life sucks

27098

You deserved it

12566

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By grandlisleguy - United States - Colchester

Pinky

Today, I was at the office making copies for a project. As I left the copy room my dress pants caught a sharp something on the door frame and ripped open my pants. All my co-workers saw my pink boxer briefs. Now I'm called "Pinky" by everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1582

You deserved it

360

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By Sophie - United States

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43827

You deserved it

3715

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By yesikilledit

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2258

You deserved it

312

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By Anonymous - 21/2/2021 11:01

No sex, lots of violins

Today, my violin broke and I have a recital coming up. I gave it to my friend to give it to the luthier and the luthier has fixed it. I asked my friend to return it to me and they became angry I was asking for too many favours. My recital is tomorrow and I can't get my hands on a violin for at least another week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

666

You deserved it

182

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By me - United States

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19677

You deserved it

54611

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By buckid310 - United States

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29804

You deserved it

2635

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By Anonymous - United States - Boca Raton

Today, my grandpa accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. I will never be able to unsee that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29999

You deserved it

2295

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By crub - United States

Today, I had my quarterly review with my supervisor at the warehouse I work at. He told me I was doing great and we discussed my raise. After I left his office, his supervisor told me I was being fired for my attendance. The last time I missed work was to attend a funeral. Five months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61202

You deserved it

2309

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By mmromig - United States

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27396

You deserved it

5557

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By presente13 - United States

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45776

You deserved it

3824

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By granny_panties - United States

Today, I was folding the laundry. At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or my mothers. I'm 18. She is 56. Enough said. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54396

You deserved it

12863

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Top comments

By Taurus_ChicKa | 36

#7911846 - Sunday 7 June 2020 0:26

Sounds like she was looking for a reason to break up with you. Also sounds like you dodged a bullet.

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7911837 - Saturday 6 June 2020 23:17

at least she's telling you now and not after the wedding?
i'm sorry op that sucks.

COMMENTS

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7911837 - Saturday 6 June 2020 23:17

at least she's telling you now and not after the wedding?
i'm sorry op that sucks.

By Taurus_ChicKa | 36

#7911846 - Sunday 7 June 2020 0:26

Sounds like she was looking for a reason to break up with you. Also sounds like you dodged a bullet.

By Robert Cruikshank | 7

#7911847 - Sunday 7 June 2020 0:26

Sorry to hear this op. You have two choices. Fight for her or give her up. It might be she is testing you.

tounces7 | 27

#7911862 - Sunday 7 June 2020 1:30

Anyone who "tests" their partner in a relationship...isn't worth being with.

Brightside86 | 22

#7911866 - Sunday 7 June 2020 1:52

I had a ex who would constantly do little tests. Like ask me which I prefer than hold it against me. People who don't treat others like adults aren't ready for adult relationships.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7911852 - Sunday 7 June 2020 0:37

The important thing is:

You got the ring back! That thing must have cost you tens and tens of dollars.

By tounces7 | 27

#7911861 - Sunday 7 June 2020 1:29

Well the her ex can have the dishonest liar back then. She's not willing to be straight-up with you about her reasons, so clearly she'd be a shitty long term partner anyway.

By Brightside86 | 22

#7911865 - Sunday 7 June 2020 1:50

That sucks man, but really good that you found this out now and not when you have to split 1/2 your stuff and pay alimony along with child support.

By Jonkbaby | 19

#7911876 - Sunday 7 June 2020 2:24

that REALLY sucks. on the bright side, better this happened now than afterwards

By Mar Zammit | 4

#7912143 - Monday 8 June 2020 9:37

That was clearly an excuse, so she won't look bad. It is better that you know now than after the wedding. This is my opinion but I think she was cheating.