Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
KillaKellaz 0
....wow....that sucks for you...5 years though....hahahahahahahahaha sadness
bornbritish 0
why don't you just do one of those dating things or flirt with guys???
elohssa_fml 0
I'll give you a sympathy f*ck. Unless you're fat. Or stinky.
Epinephrine_fml 0
I guess my life is f"cked also since I am 21 and never had sex.
Keeeeely 0
well fyl. i no people who lost it at 14. :S
Moooshie 0
I think that's cute. Least youh aint no ***** y0.
amazingkate 0
don't be desperate. don't be creepy. this pretty much works for everyone.
xBamxBam 0
Hahahaha. All you kids hating on him are in fact the losers. I'll break it down for you children. He hasn't done something that MANY people hold sacred to their heart, and you're calling him a loser/pathetic and a bunch of other non sense. Yeah, who's the pathetic one there? You kids need to slap yourself twice. 1. For thinking Sex is the best thing in the world. 2. For being retarded. You people don't know this guy, so stop assuming sh*t. Jesus Christ. Just live your life man, the time will come.
godyourethick 0
Unlucky mate :(
Jenae91 0
Waiting for a good first time is important. You want it to have meant something.