Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
puckmastakilla6 1
wtf bro, go mack chicks, now
jack01 0
at least you're not the 40 year old virgin... yet.
MoobyTheCow 2
To those asking: Condoms expire because everything medical expires. They're only going to guarantee effectiveness for so long so people don't sue over a 40 year old condom.
christopherlove 0
Condoms last for a few years, so you must be about 27 now? Ouch. I'm pretty anti-social but even I get laid with some frequency. You're doing something wrong.
Tearlag 0
don't rush into anything. i gave it up one drunken night to a guy a hardly knew because i was sick of being a virgin, i was 23. i totally regretted it. i didn't meet the love of my life til i was 28. and i've never been happier and my inexperience was a bonus, because then i could try out all this sex stuff with him and the sex is great.
hey_it_happens 0
hey im a guy if u r an ugly girl id bang you. if you are a guy i have an ugly girl for you
cheesefest 0
1) Problem: you are /waiting/ rather than being remotely proactive. 2) #100 F T W. Also, but contradictorily, #41 speaks the truth. 3) There are other people in the same boat as you. Right here! :/
suckingatlife 9
#65 said it. There are so much better things in life besides sex :). I think most people would agree at least I would hope.
bubblekat9 0
I don't see why people are ashamed for being virgins, it just means you have more morals, self worth, and self control than other pitiful people who screw just about anything as long as it breathes(not counting vibrators, etc.)
kewlcat 0
#198 being sexually active doesn't mean you dont have morals, self worth, or self control. having sex is normal for every living thing. Now.. on the other hand, sleeping around, is immoral. people who have sex arent all people who just 'screw anything as long as it breathes' and by your name "bubblekat9" i wouldnt be suprised if you were only nine