Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
Amber54321 0
Aww, its ok, your time will come
FoundManyLemons 0
Throw them out and get a new pack.
WTFIWWP 0
aww, too bad you are in Europe
UpYourself 0
Has nobody actually seen that the OP is a female...and since she had condoms she's probaby not lesbian, so stop giving her advice on how to get into chicks!!
HeroicDude 0
I'm waiting for my first time too. Why don't we hook up together?
iD_fml 0
don't worry you'll get there soon... but I'm 15 and I've been laid, so you gotta try harder man
kcid 0
ok, listen, I'll be in the UK in a few months. If you would like..... wink wink, nudge nudge, SAY NO MORE!
wtf_fg 0
The people saying "you need to get laid" really need to hush. I heard that a lot. In four days, it will one year since the morning that I gave in to the pressures. I would take it back in a heartbeat if I were given the chance. Your time will come, and I wish you the best. I hope it is worth remembering.
lasthope03 0
Dont feel bad, I'm 23 and still haven't done it yet, and I also have friend who is 26 and still a virgin.
duo002 0
HEy don't feel too bad, i'm 26 and still a virgin. So if you're ever in the US hit me up. ;-)