Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
WTFreversed 5
you don't need to wait any longer I'm here (y). jokes you'll do it one day
sam930 0
stfu
tayza249 20
did nobody notice the fact that OP is a WOMAN? there are so many comments saying to go out and find a girl.. if she finds a girl she won't need the condoms!
yummcookie 0
for a guy it can be very hard (no pun intended) if he can't find a girl who's willing, then he isn't getting any.
cloudaboveyou 0
Ur a girl just hitthe club
brobbmobb 0
Lmao
krisskrossed 5
I'm 16 and I still haven't lost my virginity:) I made a promise to my mom. It's the only one I refuse to break. No sex before marriage:) So don't feel bad, OP. I'm waiting for the right one. It's always better to.
madgrinchhatter 12
How old are you?
Mira Lux 26
OP is 23 years old.
MSDemonslayer 5
So it expired when you were 13?
Mira Lux 26
No, OP bought it when he was 18, and it expired when he was 23.
Anikaaaaa 31
Probably older than 23. They expired 3 years ago, and condoms can last for about 2-3 years. OP is 25 or 26 most likely. (Of course she's older now).
Mr_Scissors 9
mat least you know you're clean, and when you have your first it'll be way more special because you can date and not be just trying to "get laid". Your time will come.