Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I got a new roommate. He's from Mongolia. He has had 5 friends over for the last 7 hours, all speaking Mongolian. This is the most awkward party I have ever been to. FML
Today, I met new people at my dorm, only to find they already knew me because they listen to my boyfriend and me have sex all the time. FML
Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML
Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
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Top comments
xoxcinderellaxox 0
i would have surprised them by speaking to them in chinese and tell them an awesome comeback to shut them up then walked right out.
cocky 0
You should've responded in Chinese by saying, "Too bad I wouldn't feel your tiny Asian dicks!" Buhahahaha.
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Comments (120)
jmoose311 3
So did you bang them or what?
fancypants482 0
You obviously are lying because guess what? THERE ISNT A LANGUAGE CALLED CHINESE! The language spoken in China (excluding, like, hong kong, I believe) is manadin! Grow a brain.
jeniilouise 0
even if it's not technically called chinese doesn't mean the OP is lying...the classes to learn that language at my school were called 'chinese' not 'mandarin'.
facts_ofLifE 0
its mandarin... >___
facts_ofLifE 0
*It's mandarin, but its classified as Chinese... #51... and... >__
MadVlrus 1
I wish I ever had that... :/
Clitastrophe 0
Well major their Chinese asses into the bed room and get the inevitable over and done with. What? You just can't stop Chinese dick.
minimedanielle 0
i agree with number 2 i would feel great. so get on with ur life and stop compaining about nothing
technolove 7
what the hell
ShayLaBella 0
Ha ha you should have just randomly bust in the conversation saying something like "Kepp on dreamin" or if you were totally into their ideas "Should we do this now or later?"
phxgmr90 0
there is mandarin and Cantonese among many other dialects. A large amount of people do not realize that there are many different dialects in China so saying Chinese is probably a better choice. I have actually had this happen to me but it was Spanish...somehow people think I'm Asian even though I am actually Mexican. I don't get it at all.