Sex and Love: Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told...

By Sandra - 18/02/2009 14:15 - Ireland

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 745

You deserved it 20 423

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 713

You deserved it 11 940

Attraction

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 484

You deserved it 38 929

By kklaucen14 - 06/08/2012 01:15 - United States - Connersville

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 083

You deserved it 3 270

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 505

You deserved it 5 016

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 2 303

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 15 889

By Idontdance - 23/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 197

You deserved it 4 482

By Lisa - 11/12/2018 04:00 - Romania

Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 919

You deserved it 1 424

By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 656

You deserved it 41 903

A tale as old as time

By I'm_Not_Interested - 06/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 219

You deserved it 2 899

djdeathwish 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:06

When's your next party?!

StayClassy 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:09

So how was he?

Comments

MozReference 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 17:25

it sounds like the person he was looking for is his only hope.

djdeathwish 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:06

When's your next party?!

joshwa95 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 23:51

haha. nice(:

StayClassy 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:09

So how was he?

vno_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:02

@#9: l2read. she "got talking to" not "got to talk to". very different.

runmymouth 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:20

DAMN. I hate rumors. -_-

Unsuprised 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:28

Did you tap them?

sillypun 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 19:49

class.... sheeeer class.

cheerloveyou 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:58

ha . what are you ? 40 ?! eww !

MrPlopper 9

Thursday 3 January 2013 6:35

bitch you're 14 stfu!

fmlismymodo 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 20:46

hahaha oh daum... that's gotta suck having a rep like that. You still slept with him.. right? And you still throw parties? tiskk tiskkk

midnyte 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:52

Split the winnings.

ohgeez 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:57

Well find out who he's friends with and now you know who thinks you're a *****. Sucks.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Awkward Management Work Poopoo peepee Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 161

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 519

You deserved it 4 427

Today, I went to a job interview wearing what I consider to be my lucky shirt. On my way to the interview, a bird dropped a load of bird poop on my shirt, and I didn't have time to change. During the interview, the interviewer kept staring at the poop stain on my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 143

Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 4 172

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 897

You deserved it 12 232

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 720

You deserved it 18 763

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 582

You deserved it 20 542

Same thing different taste

Attraction

Misleading

A tale as old as time

Top comments

Comments