You're in the army now, oh ohoh, you're in the army. Now.

By LoveGlove - 21/06/2014 21:42 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 107
You deserved it 4 950

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Top comments

Well love glove, it looks like it's time for some pay back.

I guess this way the safety's always on....


Well love glove, it looks like it's time for some pay back.

Their time will come too ;)

incoherentrmblr 21

As the saying goes, no glove, no love. Looks like you've got a lot of live to give...

There are worse things to happen at boot camp. My advice, pick the meanest, blackest guy there and challenge him in doublestick if you lose then then respect is earned, if you win then respect is earned. Good luck brother.

#60: You've never been in the military, have you?

That moniker might not be so bad. I would like to have it.

no one ******* cares

lifeofpie25 16

hey love glove :)

Payback is best served cold! Do something when they least expect it!

I guess this way the safety's always on....

madridista14 8

The good thing is that OP got the needed protection

Schizomaniac 24

Yo dawg I heard you like safety so I put some protection on yo protection so you can protect yo'self while you protect yo'self.

You will be protected when the gun shoots it's load now.

You know what they say, if you get into heat, package your meat.

lucyy123 14

Laugh with them! It's better than being grouchy.

llamaslikesoda 21

"Haha! You got me a condom on my rifle!! Thank you so much, haha!"

supermoony 11

HAHAHA! my roommates are bastards! HAHAHA

"Thought it would be funny" yeah that's in quite a lot of fmls

That or "what's the worst that could happen".

That and "I was so drunk..."

Nyarlothatep 12

You got made fun of? Quit bitching, I was lucky to make a phone call.

Schizomaniac 24

If you don't like people bitching you've come to the wrong place my friend.

yeah, but at least his bitching made me laugh, unlike you. Take your pity party somewhere else cause you're not finding it here

usmc4lyf 2

Lol he gets a phone, his pals get condoms and the only have to carry a rifle for a week. Wow sounds like a summer camp. Has to be some army or Air Force bullshit

No, he has to wear the condom on any rifle issued him for a week...not carry an issued rifle for a week....but the phone part doesn't make sense. :P

TheElBurrrito 21

#17, he never he was carrying his rifle for only a week. He was saying that for the next week any rifle he had was to have a condom on it. No need to be a douchebag by down talking his choice to serve in any part of the military.

usmc4lyf 2

Still he gets a phone, and internet access. I was lucky to get time to even write a letter home. And he's crying cause his friends played a prank. Wahh

ShittingHicks 4

21 you're whining like a spanked bitch, calm down dude it's just the internet. Everyone I've seen on the internet with "USMC" in their name have always been such pathetic douchebags, you're not helping the cause bro.

Schizomaniac 24

The format of FML forces posters to construct the story in present tense. This likely happened a while back and the OP is just now posting about it. The condoms could have been brought from home and as others have pointed out, it doesn't say OP has to only carry a rifle for a week, just that the condom has to be put on the rifle for a week. Next time, on How It's Made...

usmc4lyf 2

Your on here backing I but talking shit on Him in other comments. Lol way to go

usmc4lyf 2

That's funny you assume cause it's Usmc I'm a guy.

#32 - no one cares?

22- NAWWW, ya think? I've got news for you, cupcake, you're not going to defeat an enemy with a weapon by being nice and catering to his feelings. It's what Marines are trained to do: utterly destroy the opposition. That includes crushing the soul in addition to breaking their bodies. Thicken your own skin and get the hell over it.

You forgot one thing, we're not the enemy. we are just people on the internet. So there is no reason to be so hostile.

21: He most likely posted about the event AFTER the fact. Everyone still has to go without phones for training. Also, side note, he's probably either Marine or Navy. Army and Air Force don't say "boot camp".

I love how most people who are telling OP to quit bitching are from the US, when it clearly says this FML is from Canada. Did it ever occur to any of you military hard-asses that their system is different than yours?