Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML
Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
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Top comments
perstephane 4
Gross - but that's why you don't drink random things at parties. That, and a million other reasons...
perdix 31
You probably gave that fly lung cancer!
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Comments (55)
ffmylife 0
i got two words for you: DUMB ASS!
midnight_rain 0
this isnt an FML, its an "I'm a dumbass, and I want people to feel bad for me"
RPGod 0
It's just a fly. Damn, when will people be rational...
DameGreyWulf 1
I was about to say "Another reason not to leave your drink unattended" but then I realized... it's not YOURS, so why did you drink out of it? Man I was sitting with a guy at a club last week, and he kept sipping out of everyone(in our party)'s drinks. I can't believe people do that. Someone could have a cold or something worse, and you're drinking out of their drink!
wienerwagon 0
Sounds like just about every party, dumbass.
WhatAboutUsFolk 3
Mx_Rider 6
fail fail fail fail fail gtfo and die fail fail what am i doing?
youguysareidiots 0
I lol'd. That sucks man. And @everyone if you're at some random party don't drink out of a random cup. If you're in your hometown and it's small- you know everyone well what's the matter? He had a ******* fly in his mouth he wanted to wash it out, jeez.
kravitzz1990 0
juststella....... BEST COMMENT ON HERE!!!! rofling!!!!!!! hahahahaaaaa... giggidy giggidy thats all folks!! xx
ladiesman14 0
i dont know whats worse smokers or people who dip.