Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Top comments
injuredathlete 12
someone needs to learn good behavior.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Your child is a genius!
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Comments (333)
Epikouros 31
Anytime you have a computer problem, ask your daughter to fix it. That's enough punishment!
musikchik 6
Why are you bribing your child? Step up, be a parent, and discipline your child. It should be more like "Tell us what the password is or you're in the corner." Have you never disciplined before? It's kind of a necessary act with all children.
DoctorDex 11
your kid needs a spanking until she tells you.dont bribe her. take control. dont be a pansy
last_patriot 10
Don't bribe her, correct her. Wear her butt out.
Oppression_fml 19
Another reason not to get kida
ohcrapitscurtis 8
outsmarted by a four-year-old
footcheezeez 16
Just spank her once, ask her for the code, and repeat until you get it.
Sheh_fml 25
Yey, violence solves everything! Or they could become responsible adults and watch the game at someone else's house while the daughter is home with a babysitter, since it actually scares her.
dachayke 16
A spank is violence? Are you ******* kidding me?
deaper 16
SOMETIMES, unplugging the television will reset it... If it doesn't do it immediately try leaving it unplugged for a little while and then plug it back in. :: Shrug :: it may not work... But it's worth a try!
Sheh_fml 25
She's scared. Punishing her in any way is not a appropriate response, all she'll learn then is that you don't give a shit about her feelings and that she should fear you too. Listen to her, comfort he, show her that none of you are angry or dangerous just because you are loud. She need to know that you care about her feelings and protect her, and that she can trust you. She is too young to know that, four year olds can't really think of it in a logical way, they just feel and react.
Anthony52_fml 9
the outcome of being a super fan!