Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Top comments
injuredathlete 12
someone needs to learn good behavior.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Your child is a genius!
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Comments (333)
laxjb 4
This reminds me of that South Park episode where they used a Minecraft quiz, as the parental control, on the parents.
UsagiArwen 23
I voted YDI. Not for screaming at the television because I can understand your excitement, but for how you've handled the situation. Rather than bribing the child, punish the child. Her actions are inexcusable for a child of her age. A 4 year old does not run the household, and if you let her, then you're not very good parents. Rather than being on fmylife, Google how to reset your television. Don't ask or tell her to give you the code. Instead, reset it yourselves with a solution on the net so she knows she can't get away with this even if she doesn't learn from the punishment alone. I'm almost certain that every television has some sort of dummy reset in case the code's been forgotten.
kristidgranger 3
Whip that booty till she tells you! Easy enough!
RockNRollAndrew 18
She needs to learn to face her fears .
Blahblah9921 4
um ok ya you need to spank her its ok to give a kid a spanking sometimes
fluffywaspluka 7
If she knows that they scream because of football, she knows it's not at her and just considers it unpleasent. So blocking sing-alongs because the singing annoys you is tit for tat.
arianaxoxo 8
Little Einstein! Maybe you can learn something from her
Deadmike 7
Good Girl, Good for her :)
Korra_fml 23
OP, consider this: when your child screams and carries on, what happens? do you not punnish her by grounding or taking away privileges? something tells me she learned this from you. you fully expect her to apologize (and mean it), so why should she expect anything less from you, her role model? be the bigger person here OP and genuinely apologize to your daughter, and work out some kind of compromise, like maybe either just don't scream and yell like wild animals at the television, or try to set up play-dates or sleep-overs at her friends' houses so she'll be away during football games and the noise won't bother her. on a sidenote, YDI for not having already set up the child lock code. if you had done that, she would've needed to know the code in the first place in order to lock out any channels.
deathrowdiesel 2
Dont those things have like a master reset or something
Hello83_fml 8
Sounds like somebody isn't gonna watch tv for a while