Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Today, my 7-year-old daughter has been hopelessly stuck on an easy puzzle in her favorite video game for a week now. Today, she excitedly told me that she'd figured it out. The solution to the puzzle? No, she’s figured out how to look up a walkthrough on the internet. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
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Top comments
injuredathlete 12
someone needs to learn good behavior.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Your child is a genius!
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Comments (333)
xWalmartCandyx 0
She probably forgot the password, considering her age
asherm 15
Time to get a babysitter for football games!
liza1922 7
LMAO, the cable company can unlock it for you :-)
aine500 16
She is a smart kid!!
Helpfulman 17
Don't bribe her, punish her don't be scared to hit her if she deserves it she deserves it.
wysegirl 24
call your cable company and they can reset don't resort to bribing a kid.. it takes 10 minutes depending on if they have a high call volume.
dannnngthatsux 19
Don't bribe her. Remove the tv, watch on a laptop or connect your laptop to tv and stream it. That behavior is NOT a valid response. If you feel for her, you can close her door, or give her money for movies or, record football on dvr and watch when she isn't there. Feeding into her behavior will lead to bad times down the road.
Moon_Dreamer22 12
@205: money for movies, are you really that stupid? she's 4 years old for the love of ra! spend more time playing with the little one and less time acting like banshee's whenever a game is on save the obnoxious screaming for when she's older and can drown it out with music
dannnngthatsux 19
My apologies. You're right about the age and movies. I guess I should have said let her visit a friend. As to waiting till later to scream? Sorry we'll need to agree to disagree. Life is full of unpleasantness, you learn to adjust. Cater/bribe and you raise a spoiled brat. And yes, me and mine learned to deal with unpleasant things by being forced to endure them. Between gun shots and violence or military jets constantly running, trains and paper thin apartment walls, we can sleep anywhere and live through most 'hardships' with a smile.
Some_Dude__ 4
Then you should be that little bitch and teach her a lesson
israelnotjacob 20
I find it hilarious that you think the solution is to bribe her. No punish the shit out of the little brat. Don't let her do anything but sit in a corner bored out of her mind until she cracks. I guarantee no child that age would last more than a few hours. Besides, as others have said there are always override codes so call the company or look it up online.
roachan 4
As a child who hated football and all her morther watched was football, I deeply empathize with this child. First off, I don't care don't scream at the tv it's... just no. Secondly, probably should punisu vs. bribe. Thirdly I'm sorry ydi. Try to find a fun thing for her to do during football?