Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic,...

By Ohdear - 16/06/2019 15:08 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 620

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Same thing different taste

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 00:00 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 521

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 581

You deserved it 6 321

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 440

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 643

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 358

Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 84

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 657

You deserved it 38 146

By Anonymous - 05/06/2011 20:45 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 411

You deserved it 46 366

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 706

You deserved it 7 929

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 348

You deserved it 32 319

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 June 2019 18:57

His search will be futile unless he checks your pants.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 16 June 2019 18:48

My friends wife swears she doesn't fart, to make matters worse she's a nurse. I don't understand her logic.

Comments

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 16 June 2019 18:48

My friends wife swears she doesn't fart, to make matters worse she's a nurse. I don't understand her logic.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 16 June 2019 18:57

His search will be futile unless he checks your pants.

Ksweety_fml 27

Sunday 16 June 2019 19:06

You need to calm down eating meat

Laurea Lindroos 8

Sunday 16 June 2019 23:43

I can relate. When I went home with a guy I was dating, my feet smelled so bad that he kept looking if his cat had done something 🙈

HokieJ 10

Monday 17 June 2019 0:07

I'd recommend seeing a doctor if it was that bad!

ClumbsyHotty 10

Tuesday 18 June 2019 6:31

Hot air rises 😂

donb23 23

Tuesday 18 June 2019 21:58

Anna?

metroido 17

Sunday 26 December 2021 10:55

to be fair, 99% of my farts don’t smell at all. maybe you have the same deal as me?

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The Top

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 3 163

Today, this hot girl sent me a friend request. I accepted it and began to chat her up. She asked me if I was single. I told her I was, and proceeded to arrange a date for some drinks. Moments later, my wife sends me a screenshot of my conversation with the girl, with the caption, “Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 2 651

The Top

Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 759

You deserved it 1 650

Today, multiple people informed my girlfriend that I’m cheating on her. I’m not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025

You deserved it 132

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 185

You deserved it 7 664

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 761

You deserved it 10 322

Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 139

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 793

You deserved it 3 297