Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
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Top comments
vballcutie08 6
I've never been brave enough to ask, I was afraid I'd get an answer like this one..
bellakaykid 6
Yes, that counts.
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Comments (97)
insanedane1 0
I dont even know my biological dad... But that sucks, OP.
liy223 6
Don't feel bad. Parties are just about the number one cause of pregnancy.
twisted54 1
I thought it was sex...?
Burnbaby 0
No, no it's defiantly parties. Otherwise people would be sober enough to remember birth control.
a_nutritionist 10
nope, thats how jesus was born. mary attended josephs coming out party and then bam, pregnant. its in the appendices of the bible, just after the reference list. nobody really reads those.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Many of us are not, OP. We understand.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Many of us are not, OP. We understand.
perdix 29
That's just one of those questions you don't ask. It's just as bad as "Do these pants make my butt look fat?"
sinjax 6
Well, you asked and got your answer. There's no use complaining about it now.
screamo_neve 12
I asked this question when I was 15... Also to find out I was adopted. After 15 years of living with your uncle thinking he's your dad... I feel your pain.
elmousey 5
Yea how sad, someone loved you enough to keep you even though you weren't their biological child. Also, OP you poor thing nobody wrote your name and the date they would try to conceive you in a day planner. Such tragedies.
swgmimi12 3
no need to be an ass 89
Lolpizza_fml 0
Thats so rude and insensitive to say. He should have a little respect for you!
_Jordan_13 0
I wasn't planne either. Lol
fadingfaith 4
At least he didn't say you were a mistake and the only reason you were born was because the condom broke...