Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
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Top comments
vballcutie08 6
I've never been brave enough to ask, I was afraid I'd get an answer like this one..
bellakaykid 6
Yes, that counts.
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Comments (97)
chell1894 13
The truth hurts?
lezbeanPRIDE 0
Um, he could have said yes and disappeared. Then came back with adoption papers to prove you were not only planned for them, but picked.. paha.
guitarplayer546 0
I have a feeling that most pregnancies are not planned. Just saying, if they treat you right who cares
Mxpxdude189 0
UFO for asking
GEFStryker 29
How did you manage to be off by one on the home keys for YDI but still manage to type out the rest of that properly? I iz confuuussseeed.
KBugg19 0
wow! lol
pasande1 0
Most children weren't planned. Don't feel bad.
KiddNYC1O 20
Does it matter?
alexiiiiis09 0
aww... but there's a reason they kept ya :)
smhlqnick 0
Don't ask questions that you won't like the answers to. Who cares if you were conceived on a drunken night and weren't planned? They still. Love you and you should stop with the mellow dramatic woe is me crap. And go make him a sammich to apologize for being annoying. :D
GEFStryker 29
Why are you trying to read between the lines on FML? The OP never said anything about her life being shitty, her parents not loving her, or anything which would require the use of "woe" in a reply. Also, let's drop the condescending women belong in the kitchen bullshit. This isn't the fifties anymore buddy. Try looking at a calendar every now and then, alright?
Iamnotmyself 17
-87 just like your 60 IQ level? How do you remember your password? Oh let me guess it's "penis"