Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
vballcutie08 6
I've never been brave enough to ask, I was afraid I'd get an answer like this one..
bellakaykid 6
Yes, that counts.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (97)
Hairnomore 7
Troll Dad detected.
MazDanRx795 1
I never understood anyone being upset that they were a mistake. Who cares? You're alive and on this planet. Be grateful.
neongurl98 10
Not very bad, I was accident too! But they love you now! :)
NiceOldMan 11
It's not a very romantic way to conceive a child (to most people), but he didn't say he and your mom didn't want you!
captain2obvious 18
I wouldn't ask unless you were prepared for an answer like that...
ilikepieandpie 11
Ten points for dad. Sadly, you are trailing with -30 points
bluebird0020 2
Why does it matter? Even if it wasn't intentional, it doesn't mean your parents don't love you. Don't be so dramatic.
Miss_Birthday 3
Even if you weren't planned, does it matter anymore? None of my siblings or myself were planned, that doesn't mean we weren't loved. We weren't thrown out , and obviously you weren't. To all you trolls that say I'm bitchy and insensitive, I don't care. Its my logic and if you wanna contradict it, go ahead. Just don't insult me for using my rights.
AngelLove251987 0
Agree with u!!
MissLadyCaliver 0
That's why it's best to not ask questions
sparklecherry 4
That was stupid.