Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Ass-bandit?
Kamon97 23
That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(
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Comments (130)
FimogenFeels 14
You should really lock your door, OP. It just takes a couple of seconds. But fyl.
xzeldax3 18
The situation would not have changed at all if he did -_-
FimogenFeels 14
No but in general it's the safest way to go. It's such a simple thing and it's surprising how many people don't do it.
TrinityNevada 11
Ass-Bandit actually broke something while breaking in. It would have been the same result if the front door were locked. Ass Bandit is pretty stupid for not checking, though. As a side story, I know many people who leave their vehicles unlocked and just don't store anything important in there. This is to avoid things getting broken, maybe that's why OP didn't have the door locked? Who knows.
kumarina 35
Not the mpst clever ass bandit
Rainhawk94 27
Lol talk about ironic
TheComedyAudio 29
Ouch man. That sucks
brokenman5 6
It's working pretty good so far bud thanks for letting door unlocked
beelee1988 13
He didn't go in through the door...
brokenman5 6
Lol ha my bad I read it to fast lmao haha
Frostie13 11
idk why your comment is buried I've been in that situation before and actually saw the persons post lol
beelee1988 13
We all do it from time to time. :-)
iSativa 24
The will the be a hipster is strong with this ass-bandit. Vintage.
shutupmichaela 18
the will the be a hipster?
sierramist94XD 4
nope. I couldn't understand that post.
annie_nk 22
At first I was wondering why your door was left unlocked. Then I saw you're from Canada.
Frostie13 11
lmfao everybody's super nice up there I wonder if it was an american the broke in
TallMist 32
Not all Canadians are nice. Some of them are just downright ass-hats.... And Justin Bieber.
JMichael 25
I wouldn't want to throw away a VCR either. I mean come on man, relive the old days!
tranced_ 45
maybe you arranged It all just to get rid of that tape!
FrankHotpants 31
The real FML would be if they retuned it and not rewinded it.
TheCerealKiller 24
Stole an ancient cassette player... Sounds like a hipster burglar to me.