By Anonymous - 31/08/2021 19:01
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be happy he proposed! not a lot of men do that anymore! and be honest about the ring to be fair if you have a good relationship he will understand if not you know where u stand.
Hey, many of us still do that! Don't pawn your singleness on our kind. No but a bit more seriously, you realize buying a tacky, overpriced rock is just bloody stupid, right? And the whole concept of marriage as a formal public display of affection is equally retarded. Spend your life with the one you love as you see fit. And if a contractual commitment helps with taxes, inheritance and the likes, then go for it. But whom you love is your business, and yours only.
@Plop - Marriage is actually a reasonably savvy decision if you’re planning on having kids and starting a family, having property together, etc. Things like community property and financial support are important if one or both of you are going to be making sacrifices in your career, etc. to build a family. Sorry if you think it’s okay to just move on and stiff someone the second you’re out of love, but to me, commitment and building something together is the point of marriage, and it’s a promise of equal share in success and failure of what you’re building. It’s about the commitment you make to each other and sticking to it, not about taxes or insurance or inheritance, or fancy ceremonies and diamond rings.
Be honest with him, say you like the ring, but explain that you would be much happier with something much different and smaller. Show him again what you'd really like. As stated above, you both return it and use the extra to go on a fun vacation, or put it towards your wedding.
I cannot help wondering if fiancé is really wealthy, or had this ring as a family heirloom, or if perhaps that big rock is not a diamond. You might want to quietly go to a jeweler for an “insurance appraisal”. It won’t be free, but it could put to rest any suspicious. But don’t trust anyone who gives a low appraisal and then offers to “take it off your hand” if you want to sell it - In that case they are radically undervaluing it so they could sell it at a huge profit. That’s the case of most “appraisal events.”