Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML
Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML
Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML
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Top comments
Peachy2392 26
Ass-bandit?
Kamon97 23
That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(
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Comments (130)
Ins0mau 20
A Nintendo 64 or Atari are collectible. A VHS player is just useless junk.
nikkon416 13
I willing to bet that the "ass-bandit" is your wife.
jwb8711 13
No, wife wanted to keep the VCR , the FML author is the ass-bandit in question.
Krispies_fml 17
That's sound like a good reply of the FML about a guy that passed out on the couch of someone else's home. People couldn't stop laughing about how Canadians never lock their front door! Good one OP ;-)
ramcalo_fml 1
the door of your house was unlocked and you live in Canada? What are you a walking stereotype?
Mimi12589_fml 10
Ahahahahah you forgot to mention that the thief only took his VHS player! Now it looks like a real cartoon !!
Rainhawk94 27
Shut up Frenchie
jwb8711 13
I think you did it as a cover up.
Phillies9513 4
did you hire him?
tman1985 9
Don't take my vic20
free_hole_es 5
What? I thought there was no such thing as crime in Canada... I don't believe it! -_-
love_me_electric 20
Come, spend a day in Winnipeg. That might change your mind.
Not_Impressed13 9
Because locking the door will keep ass-bandits from breaking your windows????
myfmylifemoments 8
What kind of Luddite would want a VCR in this day and age? It's yours wife's fault she did not listen to you.