Pervs, pervs everywhere

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 10:33 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 096
You deserved it 5 503

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Top comments

This is why we cover our mouths when we yawn.

I hope you punched him right after. That's sick and wrong...

Comments

That's actually kind of disgusting.

... Kind of?

And I thought my grandpa was bad. Whenever someone in the family yawns he likes to stick his fingers in our mouth. He thinks it's the funniest thing ever -_-

OP- that's when you should have bitten down. Hard. Until you tasted blood.

Really? Gee, I thought it was kinda romantic.

Okay, there are like 3 things wrong with this.

Now, there are "-4" things wrong with this

24-I'd be super scared to taste this man's blood...spit is bad enough. You never know the diseases you can catch!

#1, no shit sherlock.

That's when you pepperspray his ass.

125- Wouldn't pepper spraying his face be moe effective?

What makes it worse is that OP was a guy :o!

Actually? Thanks for reassuring me. I wasn't 100% on that

135- How would that be any worse? It would be just as sickening if it were a man and a woman.

24 - What if he had AIDS?

125, ouch! I would not want my ass pepper sprayed. It already hurts too much when I poo.

175-if OP was a MAN and another MAN stuck his tongue in his mouth then yeah it's fucking worse than if OP were a woman

Clearly everyone disliked this comment because they think its not disgusting.

Kinda? Kinda? There's no hope for America , Jack.

#186 Why? Are women more deserving of sexual harassment? Or because you're homophobic? Either way you're being a dick. Being harassed is disgusting, regardless of gender of victim/assailant.

This is why we cover our mouths when we yawn.

Your picture, ohmahgawd, i'm dying xD

Is it me or does anybody else want that awesome straw in 2's picture?

I already own it. Thug life, baby!

Some of these fmls are completely fake I mean ask your self who would do this

Lesson learned

Does any one else want a suit like 99's? No just me....

I bought that straw at the dollar tree xD

I see what you did there ;-)

23-Good for you for noticing the type of woman that actually looks good and has enough body fat to procreate.

103- that's a suit to protect your virginity.

@146 There's a difference between healthy skinny and anorexic, bulimic, or some rare disease. It's obvious the lady on the right has one of or a combination of the latter possibilities.

But 147, the problem is that most guys don't actually consider the girl on the right attractive. The picture is really trying to say is that curves are healthy, but in the process it is subtly saying that being skinny is not. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and neither skinny nor large girls should be hated on just because they don't have a "normal" body that an average female has.

172- you've restored a little of my faith for humanity... For now.

Bet that woke you up

That's why we have to cover our mouths when we yawn!

Just missed your opportunity, there... :L

You tried, 3.

Aww you were 30 seconds later and you missed out on 300 thumbs up :(

I thumb you up anyway~

154 your profile picture is so scary lol. You should have moderated YES.

Hey now you've been kissed!

I don't think it works like that

No shit Sherlock

Keep digging Watson

Well now OP knows what to do for his next kiss.

Probably Would have been a better experience if it was a hot girl:) poor OP

Or any girl unless OP is gay, but still even if OP was gay he might prefer a hot girl over a "strange man".

For the first time, I literally cringed reading a FML.

I think OP woukd rather not have been "kissed." it's like being raped and saying you lose your virginity... Not ideal

143- then you didn't read the dick breaking FML

Or the almost FML about the kid that lost his virginity to a cat named Jemima in 155's picture.

101, I don't think the girl would be hot if he was gay. But I'm a straight guy, so IDK. Presumably it would be the same as me saying that I think guys are hot. Which I don't.

I'm straight but I can recognise an ugly chick from a hot one.

I hope you punched him right after. That's sick and wrong...

^This. What he did warrants a clenched fist to the eye socket. More than just once

This is a good story to tell your..wait he's a guy..and you're a guy? Yeah I'd say it's beating time. No pun intended haha.

You don't know what's wrong with that man, he could've been mentally ill. But seriously, this FML makes me want to get every vaccine in existance.

He probably just kept in kissing him

You didn't cover your mouth so you were just asking for it. Next time, try sitting next to a girl and doing the Big Yawn. Pro tip: The uglier she is, the more likely she is to stick her tongue down your throat ;)

Unfortunately, the uglier she is, the less you want her to stick her tongue down your throat.

Beggars can't be choosers!

I don't think anyone 'asks' for a strange man to ram their tongue down your throat while yawning

Op is a guy, making it worse.

#11, yeah, that's the downside of the technique. Imagine what would happen if it worked with hot girls -- the public transportation system would become clogged with horny, sleepy guys looking for action.

I think it already is clogged with horny, sleepy guys looking for action. They just aren't obvious.

We should add this to the list of reasons why you should cover your mouth while yawning.

That's better than the hundred other things he could've put in your gaping piehole. After some psychological therapy, you can brag to your friends about your makeout session without having vivid horrible flashbacks.

I'm feel sorry for you, Op. You had your first kiss with some random person you don't know. But, my question is why didn't you cover your mouth to yawn?

Awe, op. at least now you learned to never yawn in public.. Some people are just crazy. I feel for you!

Never yawn in public? How about just covering your mouth. You can't help it sometimes but to yawn. But fyl, OP, on multiple levels. Love the way the FML was worded, some "stranger man" lol.