Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
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Top comments
irishfever 0
not sure how to interpret this one.... haha that sucks it sounds like she's not ready... don't pressure her
kwbuzz23wk 0
sounds like a compliment
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Comments (437)
aback 5
Dayum!
falcon_paunch 0
So... did you do it?
Starteck81 0
From the lead up I thought you were going to say "... and then to make me more comfortable she showed me her penis." That could have gone much worse. ;-)
GabriLee 0
I can see this being me. Seriously... well, the girl anyway. I am 19 and I have never seen a penis and I don't think I want to... I had been with my boyfriend for over a year and he's never even been down to his boxers before. It never bothered him. I don't really know if I WANT to see a penis. People tell me they're ugly as heck. Hope I don't pass out when I first see it though... I feel for your girlfriend, OP. Sorry things went so sour just before your first time. Hope things get better! Unless you're 15... in which case, what the freak are you doing with your pants of around a girl?!
fmylife_addict 0
dude.. take it as a compliment!
_FYL_ 0
Wow.. LOL! Yeaa she needs to wait And wtf is wrong with you people.. it's not bad to wait to have sex.. It's sweet in a way and the way God wanted, esp if you're going to go around ******* random ppl...why? and #42 how is that stupid, seriously. I guess it's not wrong, in this world, but there is NOTHING wrong with waiting until the couple is ready. I agree with #7 It must be awful, what kind of a relationship you don't have sex for 2 years? That's just wierd... [sarcasm]
MackenzieB 0
HAHAHAHAHA
menelie 0
I suggest third base.
Chellers03 0
i agree with #42 penises are gross.. and it is okay she'll get use too seeing the bugger
xClarkGable 0
@42 Shut up. OP: I think it's great that you waited so long. Maybe you should have waited longer. I was really nervous my first time. I shaked like crazy. She was just nervous.