Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
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Top comments
irishfever 0
not sure how to interpret this one.... haha that sucks it sounds like she's not ready... don't pressure her
kwbuzz23wk 0
sounds like a compliment
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Comments (437)
stjeanie 0
LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Atreyu_Love 0
Yeah I'm with #11, two years and absolutely nothing? FYL Indeed
cloudkittycat 0
I giggled the first time I saw a penis.
slipknot262318 0
r u wearing a mask
akell3 12
lol
MandM44 0
wow...2 years and she'd never seen your penis? What the heck were you guys doing all that time?
ihateyourband28 0
Just take it slow, Studley... Regardless of how long you've been together for (Christ, you could only be 15 or something, which means it wouldn't be much of a suprise she hasn't seen anything beforehand!) she might need you to build it up slowly. You gotta remember girls don't have anything even remotely similar on their bodies to compare it with!!
jake040 3
fingers. hell toes of there flexible
jake040 3
fingers. hell toes of there flexible
irishfever 0
18- seriously? just because they haven't had sex yet or done anything sexualesque (haha)? some people actually want to wait or be really sure and people should respect that :/
unlucky91 0
well... she didn't laugh
StayGoldKim 0
She mustve been nervous as all hell . I hope I don't react like that when my "first" goes down . But damn years to finally do the deed ? It shows you respect her albeit anxiously I bet , either way you get cool points for that dude .
bortzy93 0
that big, eh?? hahah
WorldCupCheer 0
love ur picture an I love canadiens<3
mattmag 0
#18 that is precisely my situation too. It happens. Some people don't want to have sex when they still live with their parents, etc.