Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
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Top comments
irishfever 0
not sure how to interpret this one.... haha that sucks it sounds like she's not ready... don't pressure her
kwbuzz23wk 0
sounds like a compliment
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Comments (437)
pwnrzero 0
rofl number 46
buffman1 0
atta boy
doomfromheaven 0
Hahaha, that was awesome. I don't see how this is a FML.
samusfox 0
Well all want to know what you did after she passed out...
kellster 2
Haha, wow. Sounds like you're hung! Not an FML at all! Seriously, just take it slowly. I don't mean take it nowhere, which seems to be the route you've chosen thus far. Maybe let her explore you at her own speed, and... ease her into things. Be gentle. Good luck. :P
FML_IS_FUNNY 0
Penis' are majorly ugly.....and no offense 2 blk dudes but blk penis' scare da snot outta me....probaly why I don't like any blk dudes....only hispanic guys......lmao
BlaisOf_Fire91 0
Maybe she just found it that amazing xD
Yulia_fml 0
So umm....run the bases before you go to home. Seriously.
Bryan_Z 0
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA LOOOL
jadeddream 0
I agree with 18... You just decided to go right to sex when she has never even seen your penis before?? No wonder she fainted. Also, I doubt it was because he is huge... someone who's never seen a penis before wouldn't know the difference, obviously. So it was probably because she was overwhelmed, which is understandable. Penises are about the weirdest body parts ever... Anyway, if this is true, then dude, I'm sorry. Also, you'll definitely want to take it slower, and when you do actually have sex, please be gentle, it can hurt like a b**** the first time!