Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all... - FML

By CantPoop - United States - Springdale

Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all day when you're not even thirsty is "such a scam". Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my abdomen. The ER had to give me IV fluids because I was so constipated from dehydration. The bill was over $2000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1417

You deserved it

6865

Tweet

Share

Out of it

Messed up

Parental guilt

By kerripjones - United States - Newark

Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27145

You deserved it

2095

Tweet

Share

By twinkygaymer - 27/6/2020 02:02

Obey!

Today, I got screamed at by a girl because I said I didn’t want to go on a date with her. I’m a gay man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1550

You deserved it

147

Tweet

Share

By Michael - Australia

Today, my 4 year old daughter was ripping out photos of the family photo book, I asked her why she was doing it she answered, "I saw mummy doing it to another book." The only other family photo book was the day we got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28982

You deserved it

2905

Tweet

Share

By notsobig - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28575

You deserved it

40768

Tweet

Share

By skigal24 - United States

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32571

You deserved it

16531

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I woke up to a note on my nightstand from my fiancée, along with the ring I proposed to her with yesterday, which stated that not only was she not ready to be married, but she’d been planning to end things before I “blindsided" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4914

You deserved it

403

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30316

You deserved it

2766

Tweet

Share

By gr8

Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and didn't have reception to notify my college, I have been irreversibly dropped from all my classes without a refund and will have to reapply for January. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2370

You deserved it

502

Tweet

Share

By emilyparker - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49573

You deserved it

5195

Tweet

Share

By Jessica - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

39505

You deserved it

3101

Tweet

Share

By ouch - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30571

You deserved it

6175

Tweet

Share

By Shnur - United States

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

57581

You deserved it

20739

Tweet

Share

By BarbieKen - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41011

You deserved it

63108

Tweet

Share

By RaceCar - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25592

You deserved it

20944

Tweet

Share

By daddy - France

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where was the police? They were 500m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32514

You deserved it

2190

Tweet

Share

By dan - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40130

You deserved it

8981

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28802

You deserved it

5481

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61798

You deserved it

3545

Tweet

Share

By Brendan - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28868

You deserved it

4122

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/4/2020 08:00

It never rains…

Today, I was at work when I got a call to say my grandad died. When I was walking out to my car, I realised someone had stolen all my hubcaps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1651

You deserved it

81

Tweet

Share

By Monkey - United States

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55203

You deserved it

3001

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30773

You deserved it

6268

Tweet

Share

By A.L.Woody - United States

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9740

You deserved it

112173

Tweet

Share

By rhya4n - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24928

You deserved it

3352

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my wife let two Jehovah's Witnesses in for a chat, then deliberately went to a neighbour's for "2 minutes," and left me with them for half-an-hour, with them refusing to take my hints to leave. In the end, I told them to fuck off, just as the wife arrived home, and she got mad at me for being rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1438

You deserved it

169

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1923

You deserved it

76

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

18911

You deserved it

25403

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31475

You deserved it

3273

Tweet

Share

By Awesome. - United States

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27807

You deserved it

4975

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Ireland

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36615

You deserved it

6505

Tweet

Share

By Pimpleeater - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48345

You deserved it

5639

Tweet

Share

By Chubby - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

39454

You deserved it

5514

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Pleasanton

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42404

You deserved it

3956

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Wichita

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28451

You deserved it

2242

Tweet

Share

By sister sister - United States - Rhinebeck

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53719

You deserved it

19236

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31090

You deserved it

2445

Tweet

Share

By vballqt201 - United States

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40326

You deserved it

17236

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I realized that the random string of numbers I deleted in my phone notes a few months ago was actually the pin code to my new bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2186

You deserved it

2658

Tweet

Share

By Person - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks

82425

You deserved it

9907

Tweet

Share

By OneYearMistake. - United Kingdom

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55482

You deserved it

6063

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7652984 - Monday 25 June 2018 3:05

Given that humans are 70-80% water (I forget the exact figure), it makes sense that we need to drink some to replenish what we lose. Were you not taught this in school?

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7653119 - Monday 25 June 2018 14:26

Besides staying hydrated, you also need sufficient daily fiber in your diet to AVOID constipation....

COMMENTS

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7652984 - Monday 25 June 2018 3:05

Given that humans are 70-80% water (I forget the exact figure), it makes sense that we need to drink some to replenish what we lose. Were you not taught this in school?

Reply

iRoybot | 16

#7661031 - Saturday 14 July 2018 1:02

yeah, that's not really how this works... dehydration is actually incredibly difficult state to achieve (if you can call it achieving) in humans, OK must have REALLY not liked the idea of drinking lol

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7653119 - Monday 25 June 2018 14:26

Besides staying hydrated, you also need sufficient daily fiber in your diet to AVOID constipation....

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7660807 - Friday 13 July 2018 15:15

So, you paid $2000 for a bag of water. Well, the prevention may not be a scam, but the cure certainly is (well, more of a price gouge than a scam, but you know, semantics).

Reply

AXel2169 | 23

#7660962 - Friday 13 July 2018 20:28

Well, he's paying for using the ER and taking up the personnel's time

Reply

protoskore | 26

#7660999 - Friday 13 July 2018 22:49

A shame they don't live in a developed western country where subsidized universal healthcare is a thing

Reply

regi13 | 8

#7661237 - Saturday 14 July 2018 17:40

Why should we have to pay for this idiot?

By wanted_2_want | 40

#7660811 - Friday 13 July 2018 15:26

What if instead of the IV the ER would’ve used an enema on you.
Wouldn’t that scare you more into drinking water in the conventional way?
Just sayin’

By Justine Malang | 16

#7660826 - Friday 13 July 2018 15:55

Such a scam? At least you now know you were being ignorant.

By bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7660853 - Friday 13 July 2018 16:39

Water you gonna do cooking forward? Drink more what are from now on.

Seriously, carry a 32oz what are bottle and force yourself to drink it all day. You should have to fill it again half way through.

Reply

iRoybot | 16

#7661036 - Saturday 14 July 2018 1:06

that's actually a myth. different people need different amounts of water depending on size and environmental factors.

By lucasj23 | 11

#7660857 - Friday 13 July 2018 16:41

ydi. you're an idiot.

By Takegami | 22

#7660872 - Friday 13 July 2018 17:03

I guess your body had enough of your shit, huh

By Spencer Seymer | 6

#7660922 - Friday 13 July 2018 18:50

The sensation of thirst is actually the first sign of dehydration. you are supposed to drink enough fluids so that you actually never really feel thirsty...

By ViviMage | 38

#7660926 - Friday 13 July 2018 19:03

8 glasses of water is kinda a scam. Still then you're thirsty. Humans don't tend to overdrink (unless their holding their wee for a Wii), and if your thirsty you will seek out water (unless you mistake that for hunger).

Too little can also cause blood clots and DVTs