Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I was touching myself under the sheets at 2:00 a.m. when my very drunk dad walked into the room. I was afraid to move my hand for fear of getting caught red-handed, so I had a 30 minute conversation with him with my fingers still inside me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
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Top comments
SmallBean 12
well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.
sens3sfailing 25
Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...
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Comments (112)
lechnerdy 5
You couldn't plug your ears in time? Did they have sex in your room?
vindicated21 12
That happened to me when I was in high school. Now I'm 53, and still can remember it, like it was yesterday. Sorry, op, but you can't un-hear that.
Enslaved 38
I over heard my parents too when I was younger. I asked my mom at the breakfast table the next morning, if she was okay and why she was "crying" last night? I can still remember my dad's ear to ear smirk like it happened yesterday. :P
panda_lou 11
I'm sorry you had to hear that, but imagining that in my head had me laughing so hard.
Ultimawolf25 19
I don't understand why you couldn't just have a short conversation with your dad, is he really that bad of a guy?
jem970 19
Do you ALWAYS want to talk to your parents? I do what the OP does all the time. Sometimes you just dont want to talk to people.
Ultimawolf25 19
I lost my parents at a pretty young age, so I guess I just envy the fact that people can still talk to theirs and they 'pretend to be asleep'
a7x_RoCk3r 12
Conversation is actually over-rated by a factor of 20 million.
Vinnie500 14
At least he didn't try and make it a threesome. Lol
Misaki18 17
The exact same thing happened to me like 2 weeks ago except I was watching anime... Some things cannot be unheard D:
vesky 4
be happy that they still have epic sex instead of bashing each other's head in thumps up for your old man. he rocks!
mbuck87 19
You couldn't plug your ears in time? Did he run back to his room already naked and erect and just dive straight into your mum?
Epikouros 32
Maybe he checked on OP in order to get an erection...
Enslaved 38
45, people make sex noises/moans during foreplay too. :P
Tavers 19
Yes, yes he did.
gigi1981 13
I'm with 44 be thankful that you have parents who still 'enjoy each others company' rather than the many very unhappily married couples out there! It's not like it's a foreign concept that parents have sex... You did come from the very same act!
killatrev 4
Ouch try not to remember your parents have sex is going to be a hard time, good luck to you.
EvilUndead 9
You could try kicking the wall and yelling "I'm trying to sleep here!".