Today, I was touching myself under the sheets at 2:00 a.m. when my very drunk dad walked into the room. I was afraid to move my hand for fear of getting caught red-handed, so I had a 30 minute conversation with him with my fingers still inside me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It's a she and the fingers weren't in her ass.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Jokes are supposed to be funny.
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Comments (11)
manb91gb 15
Today, I came home drunk and walked in on my son with his fingers up his ass under the sheets. I didn't want him to be embarrassed so I forced myself to act normal. We ended up having a thirty. minute. conversation... FML
RichardPencil 32
It's a she and the fingers weren't in her ass.
manb91gb 15
Yeah I know. It was supposed to be a joke
BurnInDemonFire 39
Jokes are supposed to be funny.
bigdikbubls 5
was funny to me
Maks Lesniewski 7
You get the fact that the OP is a girl, right?
RichardPencil 32
You need take this story to a humble-brag site! Most people can't multitask effectively, but you can talk to a drunk while diddling yourself. Bravo!
BlankName1990 2
pictures or it didn't happen 😉
E2dav 5
Tip for future masturbating ease: you can get yourself off just by massaging & rubbing your clit, don't need to go inside. Helps if you ever need to quickly hide what you're doing if someone walks in.
Bevis Butthead 4
We all want to sniff 'em...
neverdelta 6
every father's dream