Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I was touching myself under the sheets at 2:00 a.m. when my very drunk dad walked into the room. I was afraid to move my hand for fear of getting caught red-handed, so I had a 30 minute conversation with him with my fingers still inside me. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SmallBean 12
well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.
sens3sfailing 25
Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
skip_m 6
You could have sent a text to their phones to stop.
victus 14
this fml reminds me of the one with grandparents checking the grandchild before having sex... I had hoped stuff like that didn't happen very often
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
Well technically he did look to see if you were asleep or not like you thought
stallingsjason 6
That's the beauty of sex, whether its your parents or grandparents, at least they are still in love with each other and I am not reading another cheating FML. Be happy OP. Besides its their house
charvisioku 22
I never get why this kind of situation is so 'bad'. Just put the ear plugs in and carry on reading or whatever... it's not like it's a newsflash that your parents have sex. Like others have said... at least they're still into each other unlike a lot of couples. It's not really a traumatic thing unless you've been conditioned by other people to think it is.
shrdlu 28
Well, what would you do when you're 50 and horny and already sharing a bed with an eager partner?
Calingaladha 21
Well...sex to be you.
llamafish 25
Can someone please explain to me the point of "censoring" a word using characters that look like the letters they replace? Doesn't it defeat the purpose?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
No, for a lot of people it is habit because there are a lot of websites with word filters that will filter the entire word such as turning Jackass to ******* if you don't replace symbols like that.
ballbearing 10
You deserve it for still living with your parents. Unless your still a teenager, in which case, you still deserve it for whining about your parents having sex. They own the damn house - they can have sex as loud as they want.