Not now Jesus

By charliemann_ - 12/09/2011 14:28 - United States

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response? "You need Jesus." FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 728
You deserved it 2 762

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Top comments


random much? lol.

SHE needs therapy.

SemperFi_23 6

Politely respond: "You need Allah."

She sound like a b*tchy old rich white women. The world seems full of them these days.

this is a weird FML. I don't know why gas stations would do this

That's just because Jesus can make hard copies of credit cards when the machine isn't working...Miracle!!!

fthislyfe 22

Jesus needs her

cruxx 0

WTF that's so random...

chika_yeaah23 0

24- why gas stations would do what? not read a card at the pump? I'm nit sure that it was intentional by the gas station. every store has problems with some kind of card. anyways she needs to get laid. or something to hype up her life.

Words of Wisdom from crazy old people.

Actually she was talking about Jesus, an employee at Credit Fixers Inc. I can understand the miscommunication however.

Actually she needs money.

I don't see how this is a fml at all?

83 I'm only 13 idk if you are serious So are you ?

#94. He's serious, I know Jesus, he's a top bloke. Got me out of a nasty credit situation once.

22cute 17

Yeah, that's just weird.

94- Don't use age as an excuse for stupidity.

haha 24, im 13 and even i know that. dont embarass us 13 year olds haha.

I was being serious 94. Jesus can really "save" you from some nasty credit situations. They really crucify him at work though, he has to work for all his children, which he sometimes calls lambs. But I mean, he'll do anything for you, including walking on water to save you from sinking into debt.

My father arrested Jesus once. Got real awkward when his Dad came into the station

Youre a Dumbass lol

ashtonkay 7

Don't you have to be of a certain age to be on this site? Does your mommy know your here?

Don't be a smartass, 127. Nobody listens to age rules.

he's 13... not 7... if u were treated that childishly when you were 13 then I feel sorry for you....

GrammarNaziFTW 0

113 - Don't use younger folks to make you feel important.

127 - Yeah, you have to be 17 according to the mobile app. Now look at your age. Although, look at mine. >.

Usually, if the card doesn't work at the pump it's because the pump had problems reading the card, or the user did something wrong, etc. And nobody wants to just turn on a pump, because the person can just not pay for their fuel.

DontModMeDammit 10

Light her on fire and send her to hell?

Drop kick the bitch.

He wouldn't fi what she did.

chika_yeaah23 0

face palm and shake his head.

Does anyone know what the fuck 35 just said?

chika_yeaah23 0

probably "do" not fi baha

Drive an electric car.

CommonSenseKarma 17

WTF why do you all have private profiles? What are you trying to hide?! Oh, yeah, and Jesus would piss in her gas tank. That would be 666 mpg. Oh wait...

109- does it say my profile is private? Cause I'm only on here on my phone and I don't know how to change it.

CommonSenseKarma 17

Methinks you must go on regular FML website to change it.

Feel needed

lol. that's random

qhostred 0

SHE needs to put money in her bank account

She NEEDS to sort out her priorities...

Lol 50, nice Harry Potter reference!

SirObvious 1


... and she needs help.

MichellinMan 20

No no, she needs to stop smoking crack.

GrammarNaziFTW 0

She needs Jesus... To help pay for her gas.

She was trying to get a discount because everyone knows Jesus saves.

schaflava 0

Most people I know named Jesus are here illegally. In other words, they would drink bud light and listen to tejano!

Hahaa. This made me laugh. But seriously shes just another crazy at a gas station. Lol that's what the gas prices are doing to people these days.

She needs a slap to the face more. Clearly condescending the OP for her own insecurities by saying she needs religion. OR she's just retarded.

RachelD23 0

I vote retarded.

Then you tell her she needs gas. Somewhere else.

Jesus lived 2000 years ago. It's not likely he'll know what a gas station is.

jessie0621 0

Your an idiot-

You're* taking this too seriously.

jeover 0

Jesus created that gas station. And the gas in it. So yes, yes he does know what it is.

And for some reason, Jesus created people like you who can't take jokes.

marpay 11

Hey 40, if you believe in all that then you should know that god created it not his son.

chika_yeaah23 0

man created gas stations. hard to work at the crack of dawn construction workers. lol

I hate when people say Jesus created EVERYTHING. When in real life hard working men and women created Everything. And that shouldn't be taken away from them in anyway

Epsilonyx 15

45, heard of the trinity? Derka derka.

Epsilonyx 15

P.S. I don't think anyone gave credit to God for the creation of gas stations. God made the things USED to make them.