That blows!

That sounds a quite unsanitary:P

I'm callin bullshit.

Booooobs

I wouldn't tell any girlfriends that if you plan on kissing them or going down on them.

And I bet OP did get an STD.

How did their sperm taste, was it yummy.

1, you wouldn't happen to have a blow pop in your mouth would you??

Oh god, OP is a guy... o.o

46, find out yourself you creep.

Oh 1- I see what you did there blow like a baloon and blow like a whore double meaning. But seriously that sucks.

Haha good one

Damn that's nasty

Water balloon fight! LOOOL

Damn, app messed around with post numbers and put them in the wrong order. Ignore me, I fail.

Holy mother of God... This has to be the worst FML I have ever read.

Man, that blows loads

I agree with 121. This is the worst FML that I have ever read.

My worst/nastiest childhood stories couldn't even come close to this. Gross.

how did that even happen??? u bought a prostitute, got there and said "hey i remember this place", then spent the whole hour crying and remembering ur childhood and she still charged u??

Just imagine what all the people who use prostitutes look like! Yuk!

You should seriously be tested for STDs if you put your mouth on them.

Agreed this one is pretty bad

That is the most horrible thing ever. You know how they say "things could always be worse" this could not be worse

You might want to get tested...... For everything.

so you learned to blow the weird way

Actually 156, it can be worse... if OP has an STD... or two... or three.

196... I think being dead would be worse... But then I guess it depends on what/if OP caught something worse than death, but it doesn't seem so with the way it is written.

I'm at a loss of words.

This FML just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

This, my friends is truly an FML.

Does anyone else notice OP's name...?

Why would anyone blow up a balloon they found on the street anyway? especially a soggy one

#51 WTF are you thinking??? With such a situation the gdnder doesn't matter ANYTHING, it's utterly disgusting regardless. If you ate poop, would you go "oh, it's okay! Good thing I'm a woman, that way the poop automatically becomes fudge!" It's disgusting regardless of being a guy or girl!! Especially with putting the mouth on the cum and on the juices from inside the prostitute....

@51 should he feel better if he had been a girl instead?

WIINIINNG!!

Imagine what the hookers thought seeing little kids blowing up used condoms?!

He didn't know better... OP said he was a child when this happened

your mom was yummy

STD's are not pokemon.

Enjoying the herpes? Man you and your brothers were idiots as children.

U took my pun

Haha you're so punny

A southern state.... Not surprising they had the lower intelligence to do stuff like this.

Can someone say balloon animals?

BALOON ANIMALS

I can, but not five times fast. It's a tongue twister :D

18, I could say it five times fast! It's easier if you take your voice up an octave.

Well I was sorta joking, it just wasn't funny :P but I'm not used to talking so I'd probably mess up saying anything five times fast.

27. Shut up

Someone sharted.

ArcadePie, if you'd replied to 96 your pic would've made that brilliant.

App messed up and put posts in the wrong order, ignore me. And if this double sends or disappears elsewhere again.. well fuck.

"I'll have 6 shots please, bartender: what's the occasion? Op: I had my first BlowJob, bartender: oh well here's a 7th on me then! OP: thanks but I doubt it could get the taste out of my mouth."

What do you want? A baloon snake, worm, or eel?

DONT HAVE SEX. YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE.

Memories to share with your future children!

Uhhh hope your clean after all that

Uhh I thing I'm think is that, why did you spend most of ur childhood in a brothel?

yes because the law clearly states people with STDs are banned from having relations with non STD people

Glad the memory was shared with us on FML, too. It's one of the grossest I've read in a while. Just wish I could've seen the slowly dawning realization on OP's face when he finally figured it out.

This FML is by far the most ive ever felt your life sucks I've ever read! Gross!

Yes, you'll just have to be satisfied sharing this memory with YOUR future children since you drank the prostitutes' future children.

Not only did they drink the prostitutes future kids but they put their mouths on who knows how many cocks and all the ball cheese. I'm gonna go get sick now... Again

I bet op has aids on their molars, maybe incisors too lol

He might be sharing more than memories with them.. :(

your cute lol ;)

"when I was your age, balloons had hepatitis and herpes"

that's horrible.. but you guys probably shouldn't have been playing with stuff u found on the floor anyways fyl

How could they know? They were only kids..

When is it ever a good idea to put random thongs on the ground in or around your mouth? Unless they were 2 I don't see why they didn't know better.

Lol, things not thongs.

When I was a kid I knew putting soggy balloons in my mouth was a stupid idea.

141 shouldnt have corrected it. it was funnier with thongs.

Knowing better and behaving better are two different things. A young child may not you don't want him putting things from the ground in his mouth but may not understand why. I would've thought the first time one tasted the soggy balloon would've been curative but apparently not. Regardless, this is a parental fail. Who lets their child play unsupervised in a known prostitution hangout?

I liked thongs better.

did you by any chance happen to find it in a size 6 leather boot and mistake it for a snake skin

No shit #8

EWWWW must've freaked u out halfway through health class when u realized what those balloons actually are

I guess you could say... that blows.

I guess you could say...you're way too late with that one

Early learning much? Lol

Not really.....

Well that really sucks" That really "Dampened" your spirits That "blows" Well..we all seen it "Coming" ...I'm sorry

If you trying to make that sound funny you should have said "cuming" not "coming"

Saw* Sorry, had to.

Ah damn...I knew I messed up

Lol

STD STD STD for you and me!

exactly what I was thinking!!!!!

In your pic, I imagined the zebra saying that :D

enjoy your herpes!

I thought of 9's comment as a song. But I couldn't figure out a tune for it. Any ideas?

Your brother is a legend

In that case, OP must be Eazy E's brother.. too soon?

Your brother is a legend