Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
jimmyrules 0
Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.
immja 0
@2 that may have been the problem.. hah
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Comments (428)
jimmyrules 0
Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.
LordXavier 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
dude your so punny XD jk I don't like
thikimo 0
punny I like :D
SettoFail 9
YOU TWO MUST BE RETARDED.
zach55 0
lol that was Funny ^ yeah you see the arrow yeah well yeah it pointing to an F. yes a ******* F. ^ ^ ^
zach55 0
well **** the arrows because they didn't point at the f's like I made them do.
mitchie11 0
lol @ 126 xD
Firebrand_fml 0
GTFO #120, punny is cool..
zZsleeperrZz 0
never realized this... but lol looks like a ******. hmmm
nerdsgetmehot 23
#210 I disagree! What kind of vaginas have you been looking at?!
MNDUBBER 0
not a single one.
Jiplo 18
^ditto...
sophsoph97 8
Obviously thats why they didn't have sex:) lol
MrMayor 2
tools
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Fools
zach55 0
pools
Jesta05 0
rules
Rawr_Doodle 0
ghouls
zach55 0
drools
hellokittywhore 0
stools
zach55 0
jewels
jessdemi 0
cools?
zach55 0
fuels
rileykins 0
****.
zach55 0
mules
Rawr_Doodle 0
awwwwww why you gotta mess it up?!
Raleigh_bruh 7
Riley! That was my job to do that. :/
rileykins 0
cuz im a boss.
zach55 0
yeah! **** you
zach55 0
yeah your the boss. of *****.
rileykins 0
lol sorry, raleigh. we had brainwaves, i just acted on it quicker! :D
Raleigh_bruh 7
Yeeeh, don't let me catch you trying to take my job from me again. :P
rileykins 0
zach55- you should go cry about it some more.
rileykins 0
well raleigh, i believe i just stole your job..
Raleigh_bruh 7
Hmm, Riley. If you're going to take my job, then you might as well take the title of cockblocker that goes along with it. :]
zach55 0
#117 how about you go ********** listening to a justin bieber song and his gay little girl like voice he has. oh that's right it's because he is one and you want his wet pussy in your face. sick *****
rileykins 0
ahahahahahahahahah oh my goodness. good one.. what are you? 12?
rileykins 0
lol and why's thy raleigh?
zach55 0
sure I am. and what are you a little 5 year old girl trying to act tough? seems like it.
rileykins 0
lol god, my iq is dropping just by talking to you and im condoning you by replying. aha this is my last reply.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Zach, dude just drop it. You're picking a fight with someone you will most likely never meet, over something as small as a combo breaker on a website.. You know this is not worth it, yes? Riley, that's because you've just blocked a handful of cocks from continuing their combo. So I hope you're happy with the job, cockblocker. :]
zach55 0
exactly my comment about you going off masturbating to Justin bieber is true. have fun.
Rawr_Doodle 0
Lmao zach
rileykins 0
lol someone had to do it raleigh. don't be jealous. :D
Raleigh_bruh 7
Pfft, I am in no way jealous. I'll catch you slipping and get you back one day. But anywho, I'm headed out. Goodnight, boss. :P
rileykins 0
lol we'll see bout that! night, sir.
zach55 0
pfft what a couple.
bugmenotmofo 34
lol @ 99
NiceGuyz 0
Pools.... We must go on!! Unlike their sex.... XD
ifoundalaska 11
Good god get a room
LemonMan 0
What's so hard about oral sex....it's like sucking a lolipop, except it's skin.
glee5 0
good effort guys! you can always try again!
Norrisv5 8
Fail is that even possible maybe your not sure? You guys where dry and crispy after ur attempt
immja 0
@2 that may have been the problem.. hah
GamerCon 0
I see what you did thar...
v4l_v4l 1
Hahaha funny xD
Tequila_Hilton 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI. for not paying attention in middle school health. hahaha
polkadots123 2
Or maybe they are in middle school...
Ben Taylor 16
maybe middle school health is just reallllly bad at teaching that
Raleigh_bruh 7
You'll learn. Hopefully...
ZleveL 0
we can only hope :(
rileykins 0
kids now-a-days.... they never learn.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Mhm.
MzMegs 20
I lost my virginity today and it wasn't that hard... Maybe you guys are stupid?
MzMegs 20
It's not like I even gave any details... Stop being so oversensitive.
Jizwold 0
not enough information
handhugsftw 0
31 I think that made my night. :D
Jizwold 0
ur welcome :) btw where did u steal that pic from?
sarah48_fml 0
^ lol
rebbee 0
OP sounds like a douche. Just whack it in, it's not that hard!
Jizwold 0
Sarah I'd love to take ur whole family down to the basement and grape u for decades and decades and decades
FreeKingKool 0
like how do you **** that up