Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
jimmyrules 0
Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.
immja 0
@2 that may have been the problem.. hah
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Comments (428)
v_garcia3 0
11: Lmao I love that movie...actually the girl was a freak well the guy would just freak out!!!
oarisimo 4
then just try again next time. it's not the end of the world...
omgjoe 0
go watch some **** then try again
Skorpack 0
Fail
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for trying to fornicate. YDI for failing at fornicating. YDI for thinking that fornication is in any way difficult; it's one of the easiest, most natural acts in the world. Just follow your instincts. You'll still DI for fornicating, but at least you'll be doing it right. YDI for trying to fornicate in a basement.
jokker_fml 0
you sir, are a failtroll go back to 4chan and take better notes
Mirorbo 27
Rules 1 and 2, darling!~
Lozza111 0
ydi for saying fornicating
Trollz4daLULZ 2
jokker, if I amuse myself and get someone (IE: you) to flame me, then I have succeeded in my quest. And I was trolling usenet groups before 4chan's creater was out of middle school. Mirorbo: rules 1 and 2 only apply to raids. Lozza111: the word "fornicate" and its many variations make me giggle. Tee hee.
Jizwold 0
I kinda wana punch 1 in the face
rileykins 0
the act is much HARDER. aha. doesn't sound like it.
ilovejeland 0
better luck next timee..haha OP you should just put those fingers to workk
SupxD 0
WTF is Op..geezzz.!
angellx3 0
original poster
TaylorTotsYumm 10
orgasmic pandas
handhugsftw 0
oh god I hope you don't breed. how hard can it be? wow.
Mirorbo 27
Fuhohohoho... It's always a little awkward the first time, darling.