Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
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Top comments
jimmyrules 0
Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.
immja 0
@2 that may have been the problem.. hah
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Comments (428)
ShorTiE4LyFe 0
8====D + O/ or in your case... 8=D + 0/
whyme773 0
maybe he just wasn't turned on? think about it, the oral was probably horrible, and then when he decides to try going all the way, it's so bad that he doesn't even have a bat to hit the home run with. you miss need to watch some **** and practice, that's my solution...<3<3 :)
urluvismydrug 0
I agree with 62 and not just cuz he's Hoyt ... ok fine it's cuz he's hot
Combat_Mushroom 3
eh it happened to me she was too... inexperienced to do anything when she went down on me & too shy to let me go down on her shit happens u guys can always **** tomorrow not an fml... seriously, maybe a fmday
mebecatie 0
someones not gettin lucky tonite(;
rileykins 0
lol somebody had to do it. :D
yourbarbiiedoll 0
just put the hard thing, in your hole, and then, tadaaaaa
yourbarbiiedoll 0
just put the hard thing, in your hole, and then, tadaaaaa
yourbarbiiedoll 0
just put the hard thing, in your hole, and then, tadaaaaa
LilTiki559 13
FAIIL!!! No easier way to put it=)