Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
jazziness 12
Doesn't matter, had sex.
tripangelx8 4
the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed
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Comments (136)
jizzwold 21
63 one of them is 16 and the other is 17 so you are a little creepy either way haha
taurusxdee 10
I think it's awesome that you go out of your way to please your gf!
CookieGirl4ever 13
Lol, I bet everyone here that's sick minded pictured what he was doing... (including me) ...and everyone else was thinking about giraffes bobbing for apples. :p
Simoneaux17 11
Foreplay bro. Foreplay. You gotta get her all worked up, make her want it. She has to be in the mood. Then try it. If she was in the mood, then FYL. If you just went for it..then YDI.
hellaflushfa5 6
Ah yes the bobbing girraffe, that's a very complex manouver.
kkillaj 5
72 I agree but ur name is jizzwold isn't that kinda creepy as well?
AugustBurnsToast 14
That had to have been a vey interesting article lol
Hts777 4
And you decided the smartest thing to do is find out how from an article. YDI
Benlop_fml 15
Full body orgasms. You're doing it wrong.
akdakine81 2
Really kid, a magazine?