Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
jazziness 12
Doesn't matter, had sex.
tripangelx8 4
the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed
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Comments (136)
wittygirl 8
Well aren't you just the sweetest thing trying to find new ways to please the woman you love. Try this, and now this is a little new and revolutionary but ask your girl this " baby what do you like that would please you in the bed" you'll find to your delight that she'll tell you :3 thank me later.
SoultheWolf 19
You have to remember that every woman is wired differently. What might make one have a mind-blowing ****** wont always work with another. Especially because it is very difficult for a woman to reach an ******, especially by another human being. The best way to find out is see what best stimulates her and work with that. But don't just do the same thing over and over, mix it up so she doens't know what to expect next, allowing her mind to go that one step further.
Knarf_fml 10
Ok I'm gonna share a tip, insert 1 finger @ 12 a clock, palms up , feel for the rough patch that's her G spot! Don't go nuts try different touches till she responds! Trust me you'll know!
icey0796 6
Advice from Wikipedia isn't always the best.
Knarf_fml 10
Wikipedia? Based on personal knowledge and years of practice However, what did you have to offer?
jizzwold 21
No
BrysGirl27 14
She could have just faked it:/
andrew87804 4
Well at least u tried.Better luck next time.
buttercup_mcm 0
Aww that's so sad.
kristah7 0
Dont let it discourage you. It's nice when guys make an effort to satisfy a woman! Most guys don't care about women's sexual needs!
kristah7 0
Oh boohoo. Grow a pair!