Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
jazziness 12
Doesn't matter, had sex.
tripangelx8 4
the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed
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Comments (136)
PrettyNightmares 5
Haha, oh the mental image I have
impress69 6
LOL, hey at least ur caring enough to want to please her
Sarojin 0
that's oddly specific.
BunBunBabe 8
This FML pissed me off, more guys should try to please their women and you were actually taking time out of your life learning how to pleasure her, tell her that when she sucks dick she looks like a gerbil smuggling sausage... That bitch
CRC_101 31
An entire FML deleted? The censorship has begun! o.o
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
At least you tried man, don't let her ungreatful attitude discourage you!
Webslinger66 10
A for effort
Stormyskyes313 4
FAIL
girful_doom 12
hahah doesn't matter, had sex :)
VioletsarePurple 0
Still, she should really appreciate the effort, sometimes wish my boyfriend would do a little light reading.