Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
jazziness 12
Doesn't matter, had sex.
tripangelx8 4
the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed
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Comments (136)
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
I just think it is nice to hear that you're trying to give your girlfriend mind blowing orgasms. I wish my boyfriend would do that. You get a good grade in my book for the effort.
Rebekkah1993 10
I find it a little funny because your picture is an Apple and your commenting on this fml ...an I totally agree with what you said...it's nice to see people genuinely try to please someone they love... :-)
ladyLALAA 29
I agree, should have given OP a chance, could have worked a treat if she gave it a try.
brookig 10
Kudos to you for trying OP At least you put in the effort. She should be grateful to you for trying!
soupisyummy 13
Take it as a complement ? ..No?...
RedPillSucks 33
In what situation would looking like "a giraffe bobbing for apples" be a compliment ???
Ferretface 13
When you're in a contest and first place goes to whoever looks like "a giraffe bobbing for apples" the best.
MargieDrury 1
Wow, well you know they say girls get turned on by animal noises.
MerrikBarbarian 9
What the hell girls are you going with? Well outside furries anyways :p
idoam 8
At least this probably means she isn't into **********
LuckyTroll 6
Am I the only one who found this funny?
DrumMajor 5
Obviously not since this FML made it past all the moderators.
ultra_notorious 26
Bitch should be more appreciative of you trying to bring her pleasure!
MrGroovy28 7
I mean it's one thing if you aren't giving her orgasms at all-- it's another if you are trying to upgrade the ******. Instead of reading excerpts from other places, let your mind do any extra imagination and go with it.
KatieKupcake4195 9
A giraffe bobbing for apples? The hell? Either your girl was on something or you were really doing it wrong, buddy.
yumyumpoptart 16
maybe next time ?!?! oh well I tried
DarkHelmet 10
Practice makes perfect OP!!