By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 870
You deserved it 4 088
Intimacy
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Top comments

gusgus36 5

awkward. I'd be mad at him cuz that's really embarrassing. but hey. at least you did have an ******.

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RedPillSucks 31

Ask him how many sea turtles he's been having sex with in order for him to gain this knowledge. Tell him that he probably needs to be checked for turtle aids, and that from now on, you're going to use a sea cucumber to please yourself.

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Comments

MustBeFirst 0

first

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marinus_fml 19

Congratulations mofo.

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MustBeFirst 0

Thank you

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marinus_fml 19

You don't learn do you. Obviously you have or have had another account in the past, probably banned for being an idiot like this. Great job.

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gusgus36 5

awkward. I'd be mad at him cuz that's really embarrassing. but hey. at least you did have an ******.

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addohm 0

blondes generally are; they're typically oblivious to reality.

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TheRealFamilyGuy 5

turtle sex is hot. it's a compliment

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seanders 10

Wow usually the girls are posting that their boyfriends can't give them one.

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Siren2 0

We need optimist. They are crucial to the "screwing people over" environment here in the USA. Note: Blonde jokes and references to intelligence via hair color are idiotic.

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sourgirl101 28

Q: What does a dumb blonde and a turtle have in common? A: When they're both on their backs, they're screwed. Sorry, I'll stop with the corny jokes now.

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pepelapew 0

gusgus is hothot

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elghs2001 0

gusgus found a pic off the Internet and set it as their default default

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clothesoptional 0

wow #53, I hope you're as young as your pic looks...

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bmexoxo98 0

ahhah

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bella_coza 0

I do believe #53 has a picture of a child actor from the 90's.

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docscientist 9

#53 is Macaulay Culkin after years of meth.

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cassiesaurus 0

hahahahahahahah! So funny. ^^

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gusgus36 5

nope 51, that's me...

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brennboo 3

I do believe #53 is Donald Trump

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Pg11 0

Q: why was the blonde's belly button sore? A: her boyfriend was also blonde.

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summersizzle 0

#76 I do believe everyone was being sarcastic.

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haggymypants 3

58- fakest picture ahem ever ..?

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nathan5 0

hey gusgus take it as a compliment. they think you are pretty enough to be a fake profile pic :) also i like your optomism!

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Flyin_Turtle14 0

lol

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Lounia_fml 8

I'd compare his dick to a sea turtle's.

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stronghand0331 17

A floppy little baby sea turtle.

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Skullcrusher 5

Has he been with said sea turtle?

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Alleged_Cranium 7

Please, stop your boyfriend from having sex with sea turtles. Who knows what disease you can get from them, not just fin rot.

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iSitt 0

salmonella

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MissLizWolf 8

hahahahahaa! ew.

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sloppyflow 1

he'd get a turtle head on his penis

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snuu_man 0

it's the turtles that are coming on to him! haven't you seen any of these on YouTube? they hump EVERYTHING. Even boots

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lyn29 0

that's ... embarassing :S in my opinion, plan a little thing called sweet revenge *evil laugh*

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Lurked 4

:) well at least you don't have to fake it

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11wanda11 6

nobody has to fake it!

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11wanda11 6

that's nasty, he sounds like a dick!

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RedPillSucks 31

Ask him how many sea turtles he's been having sex with in order for him to gain this knowledge. Tell him that he probably needs to be checked for turtle aids, and that from now on, you're going to use a sea cucumber to please yourself.

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stronghand0331 17

I like it. Keep the sea theme going!

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marinus_fml 19

haha I sea what you did there.;)

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haggymypants 3

I wonder how long that took you to come up with.

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RedPillSucks 31

I bet he's the one in the other FML that enjoyed making a turtle poop.

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stronghand0331 17

Well, seriously, who wouldn't want to coax a tortoise into pinching a loaf?

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jessisaur 0

awkward turtle

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BizzaroG 0

I'd be a little more worried about the turtle **** on his computer.

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