Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
jazziness 12
Doesn't matter, had sex.
tripangelx8 4
the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed
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Comments (136)
ultra_notorious 26
should have at least gotten some kudos for your efforts.
dansco 25
You kinda deserve it for reading a shitty woman's magazine! Most of them are full of crap!
20th_century_fox 3
you deserve a medal: boyfriend of the year. way to be proactive! most guys can't be arsed to give their girlfriends pleasure. your gf probably didn't laugh at you to be mean, though, so i wouldn't worry. practice makes perfect, keep on going!
AllyMoree 8
What exactly were you trying to do? Go down on her?
Aero_x 21
well isn't that nice? i wouldn't have laughed, OP. I would let you finish your quest.
DenBriZel 31
at least you tried. there's a lot of guys that don't care or are incapable.
sethr_di 15
it's the right that counts
sethr_di 15
it's the right that counts
gisellemami 12
aw respect to you for actually trying!
Cubanloverllera 12
learn how to play with her clit