Miscellaneous: Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective...

By anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45274

You deserved it

5597

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Covid 19 ain't going anywhere

It's the thought that counts

Moving on

By KKimrae_ness - United States

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15431

You deserved it

47181

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By Anonymous

Today, I returned from vacation overseas to find I'd lost my job. The manager approved my leave, but forgot to put it in the system, so I was written up repeatedly for not showing up. If I want my job back, I have to wait 90 days and apply to start over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2582

You deserved it

149

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By Anonymous - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

I agree, your life sucks

59392

You deserved it

7346

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By IPityTheStool - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38393

You deserved it

7577

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By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51301

You deserved it

2535

Favorite

By Tootie - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41743

You deserved it

3517

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By fmll - Norway

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45479

You deserved it

3429

Favorite

By misi

Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks

1613

You deserved it

109

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By Anonymous - United States - Rock Springs

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38184

You deserved it

3765

Favorite

By jkin47 - United States

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36573

You deserved it

4022

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By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23841

You deserved it

2459

Favorite

By 11321 - United States

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65909

You deserved it

6872

Favorite

By fucking financial ruin - United States - New Bern

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48216

You deserved it

4004

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By unwanted - United States

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33954

You deserved it

3673

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/3/2021 21:30

Horn section

Today, I matched with someone on a dating app. The first thing they said to me was, "What is the chance that you are the trombone player living below me and would you please stop playing after 9 p.m.?" I am that trombone player and due to Covid I have to practice a lot in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

432

You deserved it

1280

Favorite

By oktober2nd - United States - Beaverton

Today, I woke up for the first time In 5 days with relief from a debilitating migraine, only to have my arm and shoulder completely numb and a sharp pain running from my neck to my elbow. I have a pinched nerve and dislocated disk in my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2213

You deserved it

124

Favorite

By Garrett - United States - Vista

Today, after I arrived at work, somebody crashed into my parked car and left a big dent. The impact pushed my car up onto the curb and I got a parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5630

You deserved it

343

Favorite

By socialbanana - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, after getting up at 6 a.m., fighting with the dogs to wipe their paws off from the snow, and having to wait for a moving truck to move so I could get to work by 8, I got a call from my boss saying we were closed due to weather. It was 8:15. I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8578

You deserved it

684

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By noooo - United States

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31924

You deserved it

2687

Favorite

By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34405

You deserved it

2221

Favorite

By rapturezz - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36941

You deserved it

3739

Favorite

By Respect101 - United States - Alvin

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

40571

You deserved it

27572

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By murp - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26476

You deserved it

3173

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By MenstruallyFrustrated - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64822

You deserved it

6172

Favorite

By anonymous - Canada - Fergus

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13586

You deserved it

28784

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By RBergman - United States - Basin

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43552

You deserved it

3329

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38112

You deserved it

2519

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41342

You deserved it

4213

Favorite

By addie19 - United States

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29642

You deserved it

2919

Favorite

By MisterBrown - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25672

You deserved it

3334

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By Disappointed

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40686

You deserved it

5098

Favorite

By Telemistake - United States

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18150

You deserved it

69202

Favorite

By notsosmart - Australia

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37196

You deserved it

4504

Favorite

By Relevance - United States

Today, my husband fell for an online scam leaving us 1450.00 in the negative. We get paid tomorrow and most of our money is going to cover that debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35010

You deserved it

7780

Favorite

By somnolence - United States - Beaverton

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11303

You deserved it

1950

Favorite

By vw - United States

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27392

You deserved it

6475

Favorite

By TheRoad42 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46620

You deserved it

2717

Favorite

By sierra - 11/3/2021 02:02

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

675

You deserved it

270

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - North Andover

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43550

You deserved it

14281

Favorite

By grossew

Today, my farm dog and I are spending the weekend in an urban area. She won't poop on concrete, so I directed her to a nice two-foot tall grassy median. As she vaulted up onto the median, two turds shot out of her ass and plopped right on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1455

You deserved it

288

Favorite

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Top comments

By shibainu519 | 0

#2257540 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

get an iPhone

By cupcake10101 | 0

#2257463 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

fail xD

COMMENTS

By cupcake10101 | 0

#2257463 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

fail xD

JetLifeNextLife | 0

#2257536 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:22

snail

maskedman | 9

#2257561 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:30

jail.

bigmanj28 | 0

#2257565 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:31

mail

tona01 | 16

#2257570 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:33

rail

Quasar55_fml | 18

#2257590 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:41

bail

igoteffed | 0

#2257604 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:49

I think you mean fail. FAIL^

calebpva | 0

#2257621 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:58

WIN!! ^^

max_wilder | 9

#2257643 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:05

bin

mrazneggroll | 1

#2257650 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:08

Din

Gondile | 4

#2257654 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:10

sin

spearhead | 5

#2257661 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:13

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

bubbly456 | 0

#2257662 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:13

kin

bailes_o_hay | 0

#2257672 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:18

gin

bailes_o_hay | 0

#2257674 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:18

gin

persianjr | 15

#2257713 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:31

sin

Somedood117 | 0

#2257736 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:44

bin

mendozaale | 0

#2257737 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:44

fin

NickK49 | 0

#2257742 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:45

(insert rhyme to keep annoying thread going)

EastonxStealth | 0

#2257746 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:46

cum

Somedood117 | 0

#2257747 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

shin

IndianRapper | 0

#2257750 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

bum

mendozaale | 0

#2257751 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:49

sum

mendozaale | 0

#2257752 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:49

sum

NickK49 | 0

#2257758 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:51

bitches drinking some cum filled rum

muhaidib | 2

#2257898 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:17

orange... rhyme that... and don't say hat, fat, bat, cat or sat

number0 | 8

#2257957 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:26

red-orange

bigmanj28 | 0

#2258022 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:34

porange

Katie_the_Great | 6

#2258185 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:59

o range. haha

Pawned71 | 0

#2258735 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:28

carnage

testthecoal | 5

#2258854 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:46

stonehenge

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259040 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:15

morange

Taz_the_Spaz | 0

#2259236 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:43

revenge?

toastyjustice | 5

#2259324 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:01

silver :P

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259464 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:32

liver

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259468 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:33

popcorn :)

kykyshay | 0

#2259605 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:58

wow 34 comments on rhyming words. waste of time...

EKL32 | 0

#2260036 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:53

dime trolololololol

skeezle | 0

#2260482 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:08

lime

xXxJaGsTeRxXx | 11

#2260532 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:23

rhyme

denvan | 0

#2260779 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 9:54

hyme

Spenerish | 0

#2261034 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 12:59

Chime

paigeorpage1 | 0

#2261572 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:49

your mom's a wast of time

EminemTM | 0

#2261750 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:24

My rhyming skills got you climbing hills.

trixy81 | 10

#2262364 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:39

landfills

LolaD18 | 1

#2262624 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 21:48

fish gills ^_^

a_y_a_z_z_fml | 0

#2263321 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:19

banana peels xD

bigmanj28 | 0

#2280205 - Saturday 2 April 2011 3:55

prescription pills

supertacowaffle | 41

#2282547 - Saturday 2 April 2011 20:01

Toothbrushes

Creamysweeps | 5

#2664095 - Sunday 12 June 2011 3:32

lame crushes

nalia18 | 8

#3380671 - Monday 3 October 2011 5:38

This girl is gonna attack
Cause sometimes the boys just gotta step back
Try rhyming with the word soup
Try to stay in the game
Keep this rhyme on loop

YtotsDI | 0

#3624758 - Wednesday 23 November 2011 16:43

Poop

Justin23L | 2

#4083825 - Saturday 25 February 2012 2:04

soup

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994615 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:33

Poop

By born_hustla | 26

#2257499 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

let them know babe!!

By peaceful505 | 0

#2257512 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:26

wow fyl

By peaceful505 | 0

#2257518 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:26

wow fyl

sourcherri23xx | 0

#2257582 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

trail

Quasar55_fml | 18

#2257585 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

bail

wisericky | 12

#2257586 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:39

boobs!

shibainu519 | 0

#2257603 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:44

mail

you_failed | 15

#2257609 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:51

fail

you_failed | 15

#2257618 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:52

Fail.

By shibainu519 | 0

#2257540 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

get an iPhone

outsidebox | 0

#2258123 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:50

or an android.

beeship321 | 5

#2258178 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:58

Or a pocket to keep it in so it won't fall through your underwear.

jsx12345 | 0

#2258477 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:41

iPhone>Andriod

That's
the
daily
math
kids!

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259055 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:16

I'm on my iPhone right now

p00phed | 0

#2259321 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:59

iPhones rock!

C6Racer | 0

#2259491 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:37

Droid X puts the iCrap to shame.

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994620 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:35

iPhones are given way too much time and thought. I mean, why do you need 5+ different kinds?

SmokinGuns | 13

#5757588 - Sunday 17 November 2013 12:39

You guys must be bots sent to advertise IPhones because they fucking suck!

ryanator008 | 23

#5981936 - Friday 20 June 2014 15:38

Drop an I Phone and it breaks. Drop a Blackberry (even without a case), and it doesn't.

By IdontWanna69 | 8

#2257541 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

Hey at least it has to be somewhat protected from all that sewage now :D

max_wilder | 9

#2257642 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:06

what a shitty situation!

RiiOT09 | 9

#2257648 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:08

sin

spearhead | 5

#2257668 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:15

^wrong comment

mendozaale | 0

#2257748 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

bin?

franniedottp | 8

#2258003 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:32

no, I think y'all mean
WIN

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2258443 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:34

No, 73. they don't. Feel free to read the replies to number 1, maybe you will understand then.

By sparta98 | 4

#2257548 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:27

Lol, that's what the cases are for, don'tcha know?

By jrsgreenfire257 | 0

#2257559 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:31

Faaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiilllllll xD

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994625 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:36

Pail

By tona01 | 16

#2257572 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:34

sail

cjgqsmooth | 0

#2257600 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:43

nail

fluorescentadole_fml | 8

#2257626 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:57

god this "fail" thng is sooo sickening! urgh

By ilyfrenchiee | 0

#2257584 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

lololol blackberry is with poop now ;D

BIGbadBRIZZLE | 0

#2257835 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:07

where it belongs. the blackberry storm at least