Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective...

By anonymous - 28/3/2011 18:48 - United States

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

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Miscellaneous

This is us

Honesty is the best policy

Vultures

By Anonymous - 19/7/2015 18:02 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

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25086

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By dirty deeds - 31/5/2020 14:00

Still better than the Cats movie

Today, my brother’s cat pissed on my brand new bed. He refuses to replace the mattress, and claims it wasn’t his cat. We only have one cat. FML

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1326

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122

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By anon - 2/5/2011 10:58 - United States

Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML

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28509

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By Anonymous - 17/11/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

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43493

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By Michelle - 20/2/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

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31985

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By Anonymous - 9/1/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I spent five hours sobbing in my room due to anti-depressant withdrawal. My mother refused to come and talk to me, because I'm "a terrible, hateful child who only cares about herself." Last week I spent two hours comforting her because my brother hadn't called in a week. FML

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35055

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By imamomma - 20/12/2011 18:59 - United States

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

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20139

You deserved it

26786

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By Dani - 5/12/2014 21:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML

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By Madison43097 - 24/9/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

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29567

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By GDubeau24 - 5/11/2013 17:34 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

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45945

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By no paedo - 11/3/2016 20:35 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

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19823

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1951

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By braceforcarnage - 2/12/2014 15:42 - United States

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

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42861

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3141

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By Shit - 27/4/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

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48504

You deserved it

6675

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By Anonymous - 10/9/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML

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28602

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By Anonymous - 20/1/2013 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

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36939

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By deez_nutz - 10/3/2009 12:46 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

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91428

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By Ferniferousfern - 6/3/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend of several years outright refuses to come to my best friend's wedding, on the grounds he'll be "bored". FML

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2062

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405

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By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/5/2020 20:00

A load of hot air

Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML

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1437

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592

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 21:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent ages looking for a parking space at the mall. I saw a couple walking out of the mall and decided to follow them and take their space when they left. After following them for a good ten minutes, I realised they were heading to the bus stop. FML

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9429

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By Anonymous - 28/9/2013 21:40 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

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41454

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By Angel - 13/1/2016 13:56 - United States - Charlotte

Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML

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27055

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By needlessly hungry - 10/3/2019 20:00

Today, when I tried to give blood, I was turned down before I even made it through the information packet. Why? Because I had thought I was supposed to fast for 24 hours beforehand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

909

You deserved it

3310

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2019 02:30

Family coincidence

Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML

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3440

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170

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By Dan V - 5/9/2016 06:35 - United States - Troy

Today, I found out my co-worker had made plans for a night out, just as I'd cancelled all of mine to work with him on a project for the next 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10901

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By Anonymous - 21/3/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36797

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By wellthisisbad - 29/2/2016 12:27 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I learned that not only am I pregnant, I'm too far along for an abortion. My husband and I originally bonded over the fact that we both hate children. FML

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18592

You deserved it

29302

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By Anonymous - 30/12/2013 06:29 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

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50500

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By Whytetrash - 20/6/2013 06:32 - Australia - Sydney

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

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45940

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 13/12/2014 05:05 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML

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37047

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By DogDays - 31/3/2017 14:00

Today, the only member of our family who can get health insurance is our dog. FML

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4688

You deserved it

400

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By luni - 26/6/2011 21:17 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

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37729

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By Scared - 8/4/2019 17:00 - United States - Pacific

Today, I fell asleep while watching the Ted Bundy documentary. I'm a woman, home alone, in Seattle. The nightmares were so scary, I may never want to sleep again. FML

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1607

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705

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By Don'tjudgeabook - 5/4/2017 20:00

Today, a man reminded me five times how much of a "nice guy" he was during our first conversation, saying also that I seem the sort to date the "bad guys" because I looked sweet and innocent. Then, without waiting for me to say something, he sighed and walked away, muttering that he always finished last. FML

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4668

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By not jacked - 20/4/2016 11:35 - United States - East Hartford

Today, my friend spotted for me while I was lifting a barbell. He thought it would be hilarious to tickle my armpits as I lifted it all the way up. I can still taste vomit in my mouth and it hurts to breathe. FML

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23001

You deserved it

1535

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By skigal24 - 30/5/2011 14:59 - United States

Today, my only motivation to get out of bed was cupcakes in the refrigerator. FML

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32554

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By Anonymous - 3/5/2011 08:19 - Canada

Today, my psycho stepmother and I got into an argument, and she started to get physical. After calling the police, and a cop showing up at the door, he took her side because she said it was "discipline". I'm a 29 year old man. FML

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37064

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By Anonymous - 13/4/2020 05:00

Hello, I love you

Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML

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1541

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315

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By damnnn - 17/7/2015 12:40 - Australia

Today, I was standing on a step ladder to reach the batteries on top of my fridge so I could change the ones in my TV remote. My sister thought it would be funny to shake the ladder and see what would happen. I now have a broken leg and a TV remote with dead batteries in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27721

You deserved it

2014

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 04:35 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/6/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

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Top comments

By shibainu519 | 0

#2257540 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

get an iPhone

By cupcake10101 | 0

#2257463 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

fail xD

Comments

By cupcake10101 | 0

#2257463 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

fail xD

JetLifeNextLife | 0

#2257536 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:22

snail

maskedman | 9

#2257561 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:30

jail.

bigmanj28 | 0

#2257565 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:31

mail

tona01 | 16

#2257570 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:33

rail

Quasar55_fml | 18

#2257590 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:41

bail

igoteffed | 0

#2257604 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:49

I think you mean fail. FAIL^

calebpva | 0

#2257621 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:58

WIN!! ^^

max_wilder | 9

#2257643 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:05

bin

mrazneggroll | 1

#2257650 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:08

Din

Gondile | 4

#2257654 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:10

sin

spearhead | 5

#2257661 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:13

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

bubbly456 | 0

#2257662 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:13

kin

bailes_o_hay | 0

#2257672 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:18

gin

bailes_o_hay | 0

#2257674 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:18

gin

persianjr | 15

#2257713 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:31

sin

Somedood117 | 0

#2257736 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:44

bin

mendozaale | 0

#2257737 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:44

fin

NickK49 | 0

#2257742 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:45

(insert rhyme to keep annoying thread going)

EastonxStealth | 0

#2257746 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:46

cum

Somedood117 | 0

#2257747 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

shin

IndianRapper | 0

#2257750 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

bum

mendozaale | 0

#2257751 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:49

sum

mendozaale | 0

#2257752 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:49

sum

NickK49 | 0

#2257758 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:51

bitches drinking some cum filled rum

muhaidib | 2

#2257898 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:17

orange... rhyme that... and don't say hat, fat, bat, cat or sat

number0 | 8

#2257957 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:26

red-orange

bigmanj28 | 0

#2258022 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:34

porange

Katie_the_Great | 6

#2258185 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:59

o range. haha

Pawned71 | 0

#2258735 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:28

carnage

testthecoal | 5

#2258854 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:46

stonehenge

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259040 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:15

morange

Taz_the_Spaz | 0

#2259236 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:43

revenge?

toastyjustice | 5

#2259324 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:01

silver :P

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259464 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:32

liver

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259468 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:33

popcorn :)

kykyshay | 0

#2259605 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:58

wow 34 comments on rhyming words. waste of time...

EKL32 | 0

#2260036 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:53

dime trolololololol

skeezle | 0

#2260482 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:08

lime

xXxJaGsTeRxXx | 11

#2260532 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:23

rhyme

denvan | 0

#2260779 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 9:54

hyme

Spenerish | 0

#2261034 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 12:59

Chime

paigeorpage1 | 0

#2261572 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:49

your mom's a wast of time

EminemTM | 0

#2261750 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:24

My rhyming skills got you climbing hills.

trixy81 | 10

#2262364 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:39

landfills

LolaD18 | 1

#2262624 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 21:48

fish gills ^_^

a_y_a_z_z_fml | 0

#2263321 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:19

banana peels xD

bigmanj28 | 0

#2280205 - Saturday 2 April 2011 3:55

prescription pills

supertacowaffle | 41

#2282547 - Saturday 2 April 2011 20:01

Toothbrushes

Creamysweeps | 5

#2664095 - Sunday 12 June 2011 3:32

lame crushes

nalia18 | 8

#3380671 - Monday 3 October 2011 5:38

This girl is gonna attack
Cause sometimes the boys just gotta step back
Try rhyming with the word soup
Try to stay in the game
Keep this rhyme on loop

YtotsDI | 0

#3624758 - Wednesday 23 November 2011 16:43

Poop

Justin23L | 2

#4083825 - Saturday 25 February 2012 2:04

soup

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994615 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:33

Poop

By born_hustla | 26

#2257499 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

let them know babe!!

By peaceful505 | 0

#2257512 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:26

wow fyl

By peaceful505 | 0

#2257518 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:26

wow fyl

sourcherri23xx | 0

#2257582 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

trail

Quasar55_fml | 18

#2257585 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

bail

wisericky | 12

#2257586 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:39

boobs!

shibainu519 | 0

#2257603 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:44

mail

you_failed | 15

#2257609 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:51

fail

you_failed | 15

#2257618 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:52

Fail.

By shibainu519 | 0

#2257540 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

get an iPhone

outsidebox | 0

#2258123 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:50

or an android.

beeship321 | 5

#2258178 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:58

Or a pocket to keep it in so it won't fall through your underwear.

jsx12345 | 0

#2258477 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:41

iPhone>Andriod

That's
the
daily
math
kids!

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259055 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:16

I'm on my iPhone right now

p00phed | 0

#2259321 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:59

iPhones rock!

C6Racer | 0

#2259491 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:37

Droid X puts the iCrap to shame.

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994620 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:35

iPhones are given way too much time and thought. I mean, why do you need 5+ different kinds?

SmokinGuns | 13

#5757588 - Sunday 17 November 2013 12:39

You guys must be bots sent to advertise IPhones because they fucking suck!

ryanator008 | 23

#5981936 - Friday 20 June 2014 15:38

Drop an I Phone and it breaks. Drop a Blackberry (even without a case), and it doesn't.

By IdontWanna69 | 8

#2257541 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

Hey at least it has to be somewhat protected from all that sewage now :D

max_wilder | 9

#2257642 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:06

what a shitty situation!

RiiOT09 | 9

#2257648 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:08

sin

spearhead | 5

#2257668 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:15

^wrong comment

mendozaale | 0

#2257748 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

bin?

franniedottp | 8

#2258003 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:32

no, I think y'all mean
WIN

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2258443 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:34

No, 73. they don't. Feel free to read the replies to number 1, maybe you will understand then.

By sparta98 | 4

#2257548 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:27

Lol, that's what the cases are for, don'tcha know?

By jrsgreenfire257 | 0

#2257559 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:31

Faaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiilllllll xD

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994625 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:36

Pail

By tona01 | 16

#2257572 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:34

sail

cjgqsmooth | 0

#2257600 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:43

nail

fluorescentadole_fml | 8

#2257626 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:57

god this "fail" thng is sooo sickening! urgh

By ilyfrenchiee | 0

#2257584 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

lololol blackberry is with poop now ;D

BIGbadBRIZZLE | 0

#2257835 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:07

where it belongs. the blackberry storm at least