Miscellaneous: Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective...

By anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45256

You deserved it

5593

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Walk on the wild side

"Based on your purchase history…"

Bustin' my ass

By outoflove - United States - Rockport

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60598

You deserved it

4384

Favorite

By SorrySnowWhite - United States - Baltimore

Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5890

You deserved it

14881

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Spokane

Today, I sent a Snapchat the girl I've been flirting with all week. Her response was the back of her Coke Zero, which had the quote "You've Got a Friend in Me." I got rejected by a soda can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15003

You deserved it

1698

Favorite

By why mom, why? - United States - Ross

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48518

You deserved it

14308

Favorite

By greaaaatt. - United States

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41866

You deserved it

2911

Favorite

By Not Suicidal - 2/7/2020 05:04

Down the rabbit hole of assumptions

Today, a lady talking about the Bible came to my house. She looked at me and said I wouldn't need to cut myself if I had God in my life. Mom heard and did a thorough investigation of my body for scars. I had to bathe my rabbit last night, and he scratched me. They were from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1545

You deserved it

132

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41690

You deserved it

6506

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1831

You deserved it

147

Favorite

By FuckMyEyes - Australia - Sydney

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33619

You deserved it

8203

Favorite

By Anonymous - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29835

You deserved it

2577

Favorite

By xsnqw - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19519

You deserved it

6892

Favorite

By HereKittyKitty - United States - Carlsbad

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42785

You deserved it

2873

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70336

You deserved it

3419

Favorite

By PO'd big bro - United States - Toccoa

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29906

You deserved it

2259

Favorite

By Bryan - 30/9/2020 17:01 - United States

You had to ask

Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

482

You deserved it

1310

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49383

You deserved it

6666

Favorite

By Alison - United States

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

9057

You deserved it

72146

Favorite

By GroosedOut - United States

Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44511

You deserved it

5386

Favorite

By Notpunny - United States - Silver Spring

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18107

You deserved it

7791

Favorite

By Headphones - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74433

You deserved it

5665

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, while on a beach with my 3 year-long boyfriend, I went on his phone to find a restaurant I'd sent him on Instagram. Instead, I found countless messages to other women, trying to slide into their DMs. Needless to say, everyone on that beach got a free show. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1798

You deserved it

203

Favorite

By thiswouldonlyhappentome - Aruba

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39320

You deserved it

4066

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27543

You deserved it

2325

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I went to Sunday school for the first time. The priest assured us we could ask him anything, so I did. When class ended the priest pulled me and my mom aside and asked her to stop bringing me to Sunday school until "she learns not to question the bible and accept what she is told". FML

I agree, your life sucks

5857

You deserved it

715

Favorite

By pissed out pants - United Kingdom

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42842

You deserved it

3885

Favorite

By Anonymous - Saudi Arabia - Dammam

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39585

You deserved it

2494

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35589

You deserved it

7513

Favorite

By stickyface - Canada

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13936

You deserved it

41366

Favorite

By grossed out - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42532

You deserved it

7467

Favorite

By thafinest - United States

Thanks, "Mom"

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46198

You deserved it

2253

Favorite

By paper towel virgin - United States - Warrensburg

Technologically Challenged

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22294

You deserved it

40174

Favorite

By notmycircus - United States - Cincinnati

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37629

You deserved it

2618

Favorite

By triplenipple - Sweden

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43738

You deserved it

4536

Favorite

By SURPRISE - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks

89435

You deserved it

6790

Favorite

By Anonymous

Salad days

Today, I saw a customer open a bottle of salad dressing, taste it, then put it back on the shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8511

You deserved it

762

Favorite

By NotAGoodStart - 7/3/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Fashion Week

Today, I went on a blind date, meeting up in a park. I got there first and sat down to wait for him. After a while, a guy sat down next to me. I wasn't sure if it was him, so I texted him, asking if he'd arrived. His response was, "I'm already here, sat to the left of the old woman dressed like a gypsy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1705

You deserved it

279

Favorite

By hamandegger - United States - Raynham

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76127

You deserved it

4482

Favorite

By fatass - United States

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39863

You deserved it

7495

Favorite

By Undersexed - United States - Washington

Bad sex

Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16758

You deserved it

2391

Favorite

By ubbernoob - United States

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29225

You deserved it

142720

Favorite

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Top comments

By shibainu519 | 0

#2257540 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

get an iPhone

By cupcake10101 | 0

#2257463 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

fail xD

COMMENTS

By cupcake10101 | 0

#2257463 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

fail xD

JetLifeNextLife | 0

#2257536 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:22

snail

maskedman | 9

#2257561 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:30

jail.

bigmanj28 | 0

#2257565 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:31

mail

tona01 | 16

#2257570 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:33

rail

Quasar55_fml | 18

#2257590 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:41

bail

igoteffed | 0

#2257604 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:49

I think you mean fail. FAIL^

calebpva | 0

#2257621 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:58

WIN!! ^^

max_wilder | 9

#2257643 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:05

bin

mrazneggroll | 1

#2257650 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:08

Din

Gondile | 4

#2257654 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:10

sin

spearhead | 5

#2257661 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:13

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

bubbly456 | 0

#2257662 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:13

kin

bailes_o_hay | 0

#2257672 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:18

gin

bailes_o_hay | 0

#2257674 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:18

gin

persianjr | 15

#2257713 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:31

sin

Somedood117 | 0

#2257736 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:44

bin

mendozaale | 0

#2257737 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:44

fin

NickK49 | 0

#2257742 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:45

(insert rhyme to keep annoying thread going)

EastonxStealth | 0

#2257746 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:46

cum

Somedood117 | 0

#2257747 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

shin

IndianRapper | 0

#2257750 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

bum

mendozaale | 0

#2257751 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:49

sum

mendozaale | 0

#2257752 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:49

sum

NickK49 | 0

#2257758 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:51

bitches drinking some cum filled rum

muhaidib | 2

#2257898 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:17

orange... rhyme that... and don't say hat, fat, bat, cat or sat

number0 | 8

#2257957 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:26

red-orange

bigmanj28 | 0

#2258022 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:34

porange

Katie_the_Great | 6

#2258185 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:59

o range. haha

Pawned71 | 0

#2258735 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:28

carnage

testthecoal | 5

#2258854 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:46

stonehenge

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259040 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:15

morange

Taz_the_Spaz | 0

#2259236 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:43

revenge?

toastyjustice | 5

#2259324 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:01

silver :P

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259464 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:32

liver

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259468 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:33

popcorn :)

kykyshay | 0

#2259605 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:58

wow 34 comments on rhyming words. waste of time...

EKL32 | 0

#2260036 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:53

dime trolololololol

skeezle | 0

#2260482 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:08

lime

xXxJaGsTeRxXx | 11

#2260532 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:23

rhyme

denvan | 0

#2260779 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 9:54

hyme

Spenerish | 0

#2261034 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 12:59

Chime

paigeorpage1 | 0

#2261572 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:49

your mom's a wast of time

EminemTM | 0

#2261750 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:24

My rhyming skills got you climbing hills.

trixy81 | 10

#2262364 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:39

landfills

LolaD18 | 1

#2262624 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 21:48

fish gills ^_^

a_y_a_z_z_fml | 0

#2263321 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:19

banana peels xD

bigmanj28 | 0

#2280205 - Saturday 2 April 2011 3:55

prescription pills

supertacowaffle | 41

#2282547 - Saturday 2 April 2011 20:01

Toothbrushes

Creamysweeps | 5

#2664095 - Sunday 12 June 2011 3:32

lame crushes

nalia18 | 8

#3380671 - Monday 3 October 2011 5:38

This girl is gonna attack
Cause sometimes the boys just gotta step back
Try rhyming with the word soup
Try to stay in the game
Keep this rhyme on loop

YtotsDI | 0

#3624758 - Wednesday 23 November 2011 16:43

Poop

Justin23L | 2

#4083825 - Saturday 25 February 2012 2:04

soup

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994615 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:33

Poop

By born_hustla | 26

#2257499 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

let them know babe!!

By peaceful505 | 0

#2257512 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:26

wow fyl

By peaceful505 | 0

#2257518 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:26

wow fyl

sourcherri23xx | 0

#2257582 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

trail

Quasar55_fml | 18

#2257585 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

bail

wisericky | 12

#2257586 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:39

boobs!

shibainu519 | 0

#2257603 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:44

mail

you_failed | 15

#2257609 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:51

fail

you_failed | 15

#2257618 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:52

Fail.

By shibainu519 | 0

#2257540 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

get an iPhone

outsidebox | 0

#2258123 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:50

or an android.

beeship321 | 5

#2258178 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:58

Or a pocket to keep it in so it won't fall through your underwear.

jsx12345 | 0

#2258477 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:41

iPhone>Andriod

That's
the
daily
math
kids!

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259055 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:16

I'm on my iPhone right now

p00phed | 0

#2259321 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:59

iPhones rock!

C6Racer | 0

#2259491 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:37

Droid X puts the iCrap to shame.

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994620 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:35

iPhones are given way too much time and thought. I mean, why do you need 5+ different kinds?

SmokinGuns | 13

#5757588 - Sunday 17 November 2013 12:39

You guys must be bots sent to advertise IPhones because they fucking suck!

ryanator008 | 23

#5981936 - Friday 20 June 2014 15:38

Drop an I Phone and it breaks. Drop a Blackberry (even without a case), and it doesn't.

By IdontWanna69 | 8

#2257541 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

Hey at least it has to be somewhat protected from all that sewage now :D

max_wilder | 9

#2257642 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:06

what a shitty situation!

RiiOT09 | 9

#2257648 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:08

sin

spearhead | 5

#2257668 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:15

^wrong comment

mendozaale | 0

#2257748 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

bin?

franniedottp | 8

#2258003 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:32

no, I think y'all mean
WIN

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2258443 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:34

No, 73. they don't. Feel free to read the replies to number 1, maybe you will understand then.

By sparta98 | 4

#2257548 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:27

Lol, that's what the cases are for, don'tcha know?

By jrsgreenfire257 | 0

#2257559 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:31

Faaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiilllllll xD

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994625 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:36

Pail

By tona01 | 16

#2257572 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:34

sail

cjgqsmooth | 0

#2257600 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:43

nail

fluorescentadole_fml | 8

#2257626 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:57

god this "fail" thng is sooo sickening! urgh

By ilyfrenchiee | 0

#2257584 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

lololol blackberry is with poop now ;D

BIGbadBRIZZLE | 0

#2257835 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:07

where it belongs. the blackberry storm at least