Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective...

By anonymous - 28/3/2011 18:48 - United States

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45250

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5593

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Miscellaneous

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

Deep-seated resentment

The end of the road

By killme - 13/12/2018 14:00

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me saying I don’t make her happy, I don’t make her laugh, that she feels she is settling for me and that she is not being pleased sexually. Even though she has always said I did all of that and that we could work through anything. I was going to propose... FML

I agree, your life sucks

2974

You deserved it

320

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By Anonymous - 10/8/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend looked so unhappy in a photo we took that I downloaded an editing app, and edited the photo to make it look like he was smiling before posting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1121

You deserved it

862

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By Jesska - 3/9/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33127

You deserved it

7049

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By Colin Jr. - 23/9/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24688

You deserved it

1673

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By Casuallydying - 28/4/2017 04:00

Today, I went into my boss's office to confront her about not consulting me before switching my shifts with someone else. I left in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3890

You deserved it

559

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By moreliketurdmart - 3/6/2013 16:48 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47018

You deserved it

5313

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By Drewbie - 13/1/2013 08:53 - United States - Park City

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52640

You deserved it

8747

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By Anonymous - 10/3/2012 02:05 - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27803

You deserved it

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By minaaaaajftw - 13/7/2012 20:13 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7700

You deserved it

37454

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By Anonymous - 3/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

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39716

You deserved it

4106

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By Anonymous - 29/3/2013 17:13 - United States - Lakeland

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45723

You deserved it

5239

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By egghead - 23/9/2011 08:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27956

You deserved it

3199

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By papergirl - 24/4/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39189

You deserved it

19516

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By Anonymous - 16/5/2015 17:46 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39785

You deserved it

2379

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By izoliv - 22/11/2008 08:17 - France

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

38570

You deserved it

10685

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By Anonymous - 27/3/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

118957

You deserved it

6395

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By jake - 12/8/2014 10:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

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24685

You deserved it

40559

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By Anonymous - 8/10/2013 16:04 - United States

Today, I have to go on a 7-hour-bus ride sitting beside my ex-boyfriend's mother. We broke up because she told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50055

You deserved it

3199

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By Anonymous - 19/1/2015 23:58

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39965

You deserved it

5485

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By Sleeping Beauty - 19/12/2015 19:20 - United States - Jamestown

Lookin' good

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21957

You deserved it

3742

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By Anonymous - 2/5/2011 17:43 - United States

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30615

You deserved it

4218

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By Anonymous - 10/9/2010 14:56 - United States

Today, my 8 year old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41786

You deserved it

4603

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By Discostu80 - 6/6/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered in my wifes ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46661

You deserved it

6908

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By ihateeverything - 30/1/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31280

You deserved it

1813

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/6/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my friend told me that he was having a scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in everyone was playing beer pong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40318

You deserved it

12951

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By imfucked - 26/7/2019 14:00

Today, I found out the paycheck I deposited on Tuesday bounced. This means that the checks I sent to my landlord, the electric and gas company and my mom will also bounce. When I told my boss, we got into an argument over bank fees and he fired me. I had thumped him, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1519

You deserved it

227

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By Grosssss - 15/7/2016 16:08 - United States - Harrisonburg

Today, I found out that whenever my roommate's friend-with-benefits comes over, he uses my bikini trimmer to shave his pubic hair. I've been using that trimmer for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13948

You deserved it

1230

Favorite

By NotHauteCouture - 10/12/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25844

You deserved it

13312

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By tdtf - 16/3/2016 09:11 - Germany - Neuburg

Today, the company I work for decided to herald the step to becoming fully digital by hanging physical passive-aggressive flyers everywhere, urging everyone to go digital. Might as well have written, "Save the trees" on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15694

You deserved it

1485

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By cycler - 13/6/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31851

You deserved it

12583

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By iwannagotomiamitoo - 19/8/2013 04:30 - United States - Brookline

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53548

You deserved it

3137

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By lilzoot - 8/2/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12459

You deserved it

41855

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By Kyley - 8/5/2014 11:55 - United States

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Froot Loop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25995

You deserved it

2366

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By bob - 1/9/2011 05:29 - United States

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34297

You deserved it

2702

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By Anonymous - 3/8/2010 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29464

You deserved it

12649

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By anonymous - 25/10/2016 04:29 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, I got a citation from my landlord because my puppy couldn't make it to the grass and peed in the shrubs. Later in the evening, I got a citation that my music was too loud. Until I'd submitted my 30-day notice yesterday, no one ever had a problem with me FML

I agree, your life sucks

11520

You deserved it

748

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By Anonymous - 24/9/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32211

You deserved it

7191

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By happybidet - 31/10/2016 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10639

You deserved it

863

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By Sleep Walking - 23/1/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30739

You deserved it

9119

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By GhettoBeast - 8/9/2009 04:42 - New Zealand

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42745

You deserved it

15561

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Top comments

By shibainu519 | 0

#2257540 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

get an iPhone

By cupcake10101 | 0

#2257463 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

fail xD

COMMENTS

By cupcake10101 | 0

#2257463 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:14

fail xD

JetLifeNextLife | 0

#2257536 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:22

snail

maskedman | 9

#2257561 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:30

jail.

bigmanj28 | 0

#2257565 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:31

mail

tona01 | 16

#2257570 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:33

rail

Quasar55_fml | 18

#2257590 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:41

bail

igoteffed | 0

#2257604 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:49

I think you mean fail. FAIL^

calebpva | 0

#2257621 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:58

WIN!! ^^

max_wilder | 9

#2257643 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:05

bin

mrazneggroll | 1

#2257650 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:08

Din

Gondile | 4

#2257654 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:10

sin

spearhead | 5

#2257661 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:13

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

bubbly456 | 0

#2257662 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:13

kin

bailes_o_hay | 0

#2257672 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:18

gin

bailes_o_hay | 0

#2257674 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:18

gin

persianjr | 15

#2257713 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:31

sin

Somedood117 | 0

#2257736 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:44

bin

mendozaale | 0

#2257737 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:44

fin

NickK49 | 0

#2257742 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:45

(insert rhyme to keep annoying thread going)

EastonxStealth | 0

#2257746 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:46

cum

Somedood117 | 0

#2257747 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

shin

IndianRapper | 0

#2257750 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

bum

mendozaale | 0

#2257751 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:49

sum

mendozaale | 0

#2257752 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:49

sum

NickK49 | 0

#2257758 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:51

bitches drinking some cum filled rum

muhaidib | 2

#2257898 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:17

orange... rhyme that... and don't say hat, fat, bat, cat or sat

number0 | 8

#2257957 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:26

red-orange

bigmanj28 | 0

#2258022 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:34

porange

Katie_the_Great | 6

#2258185 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:59

o range. haha

Pawned71 | 0

#2258735 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:28

carnage

testthecoal | 5

#2258854 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 3:46

stonehenge

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259040 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:15

morange

Taz_the_Spaz | 0

#2259236 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:43

revenge?

toastyjustice | 5

#2259324 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:01

silver :P

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259464 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:32

liver

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259468 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:33

popcorn :)

kykyshay | 0

#2259605 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:58

wow 34 comments on rhyming words. waste of time...

EKL32 | 0

#2260036 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:53

dime trolololololol

skeezle | 0

#2260482 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:08

lime

xXxJaGsTeRxXx | 11

#2260532 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:23

rhyme

denvan | 0

#2260779 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 9:54

hyme

Spenerish | 0

#2261034 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 12:59

Chime

paigeorpage1 | 0

#2261572 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:49

your mom's a wast of time

EminemTM | 0

#2261750 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:24

My rhyming skills got you climbing hills.

trixy81 | 10

#2262364 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:39

landfills

LolaD18 | 1

#2262624 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 21:48

fish gills ^_^

a_y_a_z_z_fml | 0

#2263321 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:19

banana peels xD

bigmanj28 | 0

#2280205 - Saturday 2 April 2011 3:55

prescription pills

supertacowaffle | 41

#2282547 - Saturday 2 April 2011 20:01

Toothbrushes

Creamysweeps | 5

#2664095 - Sunday 12 June 2011 3:32

lame crushes

nalia18 | 8

#3380671 - Monday 3 October 2011 5:38

This girl is gonna attack
Cause sometimes the boys just gotta step back
Try rhyming with the word soup
Try to stay in the game
Keep this rhyme on loop

YtotsDI | 0

#3624758 - Wednesday 23 November 2011 16:43

Poop

Justin23L | 2

#4083825 - Saturday 25 February 2012 2:04

soup

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994615 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:33

Poop

By born_hustla | 26

#2257499 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

let them know babe!!

By peaceful505 | 0

#2257512 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:26

wow fyl

By peaceful505 | 0

#2257518 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:26

wow fyl

sourcherri23xx | 0

#2257582 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

trail

Quasar55_fml | 18

#2257585 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

bail

wisericky | 12

#2257586 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:39

boobs!

shibainu519 | 0

#2257603 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:44

mail

you_failed | 15

#2257609 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:51

fail

you_failed | 15

#2257618 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:52

Fail.

By shibainu519 | 0

#2257540 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

get an iPhone

outsidebox | 0

#2258123 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:50

or an android.

beeship321 | 5

#2258178 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:58

Or a pocket to keep it in so it won't fall through your underwear.

jsx12345 | 0

#2258477 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:41

iPhone>Andriod

That's
the
daily
math
kids!

cupcake10101 | 0

#2259055 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:16

I'm on my iPhone right now

p00phed | 0

#2259321 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:59

iPhones rock!

C6Racer | 0

#2259491 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 5:37

Droid X puts the iCrap to shame.

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994620 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:35

iPhones are given way too much time and thought. I mean, why do you need 5+ different kinds?

SmokinGuns | 13

#5757588 - Sunday 17 November 2013 12:39

You guys must be bots sent to advertise IPhones because they fucking suck!

ryanator008 | 23

#5981936 - Friday 20 June 2014 15:38

Drop an I Phone and it breaks. Drop a Blackberry (even without a case), and it doesn't.

By IdontWanna69 | 8

#2257541 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:24

Hey at least it has to be somewhat protected from all that sewage now :D

max_wilder | 9

#2257642 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:06

what a shitty situation!

RiiOT09 | 9

#2257648 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:08

sin

spearhead | 5

#2257668 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:15

^wrong comment

mendozaale | 0

#2257748 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 0:48

bin?

franniedottp | 8

#2258003 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:32

no, I think y'all mean
WIN

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2258443 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:34

No, 73. they don't. Feel free to read the replies to number 1, maybe you will understand then.

By sparta98 | 4

#2257548 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:27

Lol, that's what the cases are for, don'tcha know?

By jrsgreenfire257 | 0

#2257559 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:31

Faaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiilllllll xD

kellandj2019 | 7

#4994625 - Tuesday 2 October 2012 6:36

Pail

By tona01 | 16

#2257572 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:34

sail

cjgqsmooth | 0

#2257600 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:43

nail

fluorescentadole_fml | 8

#2257626 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:57

god this "fail" thng is sooo sickening! urgh

By ilyfrenchiee | 0

#2257584 - Monday 28 March 2011 23:38

lololol blackberry is with poop now ;D

BIGbadBRIZZLE | 0

#2257835 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 1:07

where it belongs. the blackberry storm at least