By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 217
You deserved it 6 795

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Hiimhaileypotter 52

Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.

KiddNYC1O 20

She blew you alright.


the_enigma1019 1

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

When she did it, it was an accident. If he was to do it, that would be very douchey of him.

Yes, because that makes it much less disgusting.....

the_enigma1019 1

Enough! Poor attempt of mine at humor, I apologize.

Hey 9, about that FML the other day..... what happened after you found out it was your dad?

25- I ate the asshole's cheeseburger, for one. But I had to drive him home and confiscate his shitty hobo clothes. Fortunately, the people hadn't given him anything more than 4 bucks and change. I swear, it's like I'm his parent. I gave the money to a homeless man later, we can hope that that one was for real.

Don't you think that's a little rude? Okay, yeah she farted in his face...but it wasn't like she purposely planned out to fart In his face, I'm sure she's embarrassed about it.

tsent8 15

83 that reminds me of a family guy episode where Peter was training meg to be more desirable to men. He locked himself in the car with her yelling embrace the gas! Because apparently guys like it when you love the gas.

That's magnificent! Return the flavor! It can also become your kinky sex ritual.

johnny_derp 3

I'm pretty sure this is worse for OP's girlfriend.

9 - OP never said it was an accident, you just assume it was.

Definitely fart back, it'll show her that you can be embarrassed too...but don't let it get outta hand

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Just don't make a big deal out of it. I'm sure she's humiliated enough as it is.

That happened to me the first time I tried 69. But the guy farted. It was disgusting, but I went on.

SDTD10 5

It's probably more of an FML for your girlfriend than you

KiddNYC1O 20

Uhm, yeah? Edit: For 26

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Yuck! I've yet to fart or be farted on while doing the ol' 69. I don't think I would be able to go on, and I surely wouldn't be mad if the girl stopped either.

amandajlucas2015 2

Things happen during sex that are more than likely going to embarrass one partner if not both.. It's best not to make a big deal out of it and not to go post it on FML and embarrass ur partner further and try to act like an adult and move on with ur life

Would donning a gas mask before the next attempt be considered making a big deal or being prepared?

A gas mask would defeat the purpose.

IAmNotAnAnimal 9

Scat **** anyone?

KiddNYC1O 20

No, thank you. ^

imavelociraptor 6

Girls don't fart... We burp from our anus...

Thank you, 96. That sounds so much less disgusting. ...not.

You don't burp from your anus it's you blowing kisses :P... Yup can't keep a straight face with that one xD

BubbleGrunge 18

It's: Girls don't fart, they whisper in their panties.

@ # 127, I bet she was more like screaming angrily (with bad party breath).

-46- I would thumb up your comment multiple times it FML would let me!!

Lol your likes are 69 :p the irony

Lmao! Damn! Bon appetit! Fyl op

Some girls can turn people on just by farting. Idk. Unless it smells bad then it is ok.

scooprsteen 5

some people maybe....not this dude

Do you know that from experience, 202?

DrumMajor 5

And don't forget the occasional vomiting into the panties... Or is that just me?

Ew, what a foul image that put in my head.

Girls don't fart. We fluff. .-.

sometimes some things are best left to the imagination.

I meant trying out the position 69.

So you wouldn't want to try a 69?

decidedlyvague 11

You sir, are not an adventurous person.

call me old fashion but I'm not much on having someone's asshole in my nose but I still enjoy a good sex swing filled orgy every once in a while.

You sound like a virgin.

I can't say I've ever had someone's asshole in my nose while 69ing. The only way I could see your nose in an asshole is if you were to have a guy on top of you and you had his balls in your mouth. Just saying...

I don't think I'd like to 69

173- I can see where your username comes from then haha

It's an unfortunate first attempt, but I can assure you that it's a good idea to keep trying.

unknown_user5566 26

My thoughts exactly. No matter what you do sexually, you're probably going to have an embarassing moment at some point that might kill the mood. Practice makes perfect. :)

Marrach 7

If nobody's perfect, then why do they say "practice makes perfect"? Just saying..

unknown_user5566 26

It's just a saying that's meant to imply that practice will make you better at things. Are you really such a pessimist that you find it necessary to hate on a perfectly innocent phrase?

BellaBelle_fml 23

Marrach - I seriously hope that one day, soon preferably, you will grow out of your current obnoxious attitude. Unfortunately, I don't think that shall happen.

oh well. practice makes perfect.

135 - obviously no one has ever practiced enough....

I don't know what to say, other than my condolences OP.

If that's the only thing you can think of saying, it would be better not to have said anything.

Holy shit 5 the guys gf farted it's not like someone died.

His erection died.

I dunno what to do, but thumb you down.

Aww poor her, that was probably really embarassing.

Yeah I bet that comment sucked.

Yeah, I bet you should shut the **** up!

Was it a silent fart or a loud ??... Cause she might of thought you wouldn't hear it, but the silent farts are deadly !!

Poor her? This guy gets a face full of stink and you say poor her?! Her embarrassment is nothing compared to having a fart blasted into your brain.

At least it wasn't a shart...

KiddNYC1O 20

She blew you alright.

iTsbSkuLLy 8

Ha! 69 .

Shadowvoid 33

Blew him away.

Inheritance 10

At least it was not a queef.

Shadowvoid 33

Why is that? ^

selahsmithereens 1

Yeah 97 because escaping air is so much worse than methane coming out of an asshole.

Inheritance 10

101 is more of the thought, I mean just hearing a ****** farting..

tsent8 15

Imagine a penis farting! Is it possible? I mean seriously if anyone who happens to read this who has a degree please comment I want to know.

KiddNYC1O 20

107- It'll be like the most silent of assassins...

379_fml 11

107 - What sound does it make when you cum after jacking off....? Exactly. You could get a syringe full of air, insert needle in tip, inject air and see what happens. After you try that post results as fml please. This is important research

God! What's happening with the comments above me.

A woman's flatulence is truly flabber gas sting.

elletex 8

No, you say?!

riseagainstbabyy 4

Humor fail.

decidedlyvague 11

Flabby gassing.

KiddNYC1O 20

You're all high on farts. =P

RedPillSucks 31

well damn, I thought it was funny.

Capt_Oblivious 10

Well now, that stinks.

As some people said, don't make a big deal out of it. Also treasure the fart, because it might be the last time you ever hear a woman fart!

thatpeachyperson 12

'Feel' might be the correct verb here.