Intimacy: Great handle! - FML

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 375

You deserved it 9 117

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Top comments

homesuckfucker 28

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:06

I'm sorry your girlfriend would be so disrespectful. Things that happen in an intimate situation should remain intimate. Did you let her know it makes you uncomfortable? Communication is important in a relationship, after all. Perhaps she could convince your friends to stop. If not, they'll forget about it once it stops being entertaining. Pretend it doesn't bother you! Play along with it! That's how you shake off elementary school bullies, and they seem to be at about that level of maturity.

LaColombianita 26

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:10

Lmao that's hilarious, but I definitely would have kept that as an inside joke between the 2 of you only..

Comments

emmatheamazingx 17

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

emmatheamazingx 17

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:16

But make best of the situation

wvcheesehead 13

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:25

The Mandarin says "and you'll never hear me coming"

PokeyPorcupine 18

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:04

That's seriously funny.! Smile and take it in stride.

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:27

I think it's a good nickname

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Saturday 3 January 2015 5:11

It's funny, as long as it isn't you

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Sunday 4 January 2015 9:49

There could be worse ways to earn that nickname.

everlastingsnow_fml 14

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:04

Should have played it cool and ask her to bring you a beer right after.

Nolimit2217 32

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:04

Why be embarrassed? You're a man, we both cum and fart.. Sometimes at the same time!

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:58

Not that other people should know about it. Especially if it happened at an inopportune time like sex.

homesuckfucker 28

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:06

I'm sorry your girlfriend would be so disrespectful. Things that happen in an intimate situation should remain intimate. Did you let her know it makes you uncomfortable? Communication is important in a relationship, after all. Perhaps she could convince your friends to stop. If not, they'll forget about it once it stops being entertaining. Pretend it doesn't bother you! Play along with it! That's how you shake off elementary school bullies, and they seem to be at about that level of maturity.

tehdarkness 21

Saturday 3 January 2015 9:25

Dude, they hadn't has sex in a month. Something's not right.

weatherxveins 29

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Saturday 3 January 2015 17:41

Maybe one of them has been away for work or vacation, or one of them was really sick for awhile..

homesuckfucker 28

Saturday 3 January 2015 20:23

Sex is not everything in a relationship. My girlfriend and I are very much in love and don't get to have sex very often. Now, there is a possibility that OP's girlfriend is losing interest. I'm not denying that. But it's wrong to make false assumptions. There are a number of reasons why they might not have had sex, and disinterest is just one.

Vegetarian27 24

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Sunday 4 January 2015 12:31

Guys spill everything to their mates. It's hardly ridiculous to expect a girl to return the favour.

homesuckfucker 28

Sunday 4 January 2015 21:19

I personally think what happens in the bedroom should STAY in the bedroom, unless you're fishing for someone to join in.

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Monday 5 January 2015 17:42

"Ignore it or play along" doesn't work with elementary school bullies or male friends. This girl could well have gotten OP labeled "CumFart" for the rest of his life. I've got a friend that has been called by his embarrassing high school nickname so long it was on his wedding invitations.

homesuckfucker 28

Monday 5 January 2015 23:56

We obviously keep different company. :/

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Tuesday 6 January 2015 11:53

I find it hilarious that homesuckfucker is so in touch with his inner side and is explaining the benefits of communication in a relationship.. Just go homesuckfucker.. Lmao

homesuckfucker 28

Tuesday 6 January 2015 21:51

I apologize if my screen name leads you to a false conclusion regarding my personality and level of intellect.

homesuckfucker 28

Wednesday 7 January 2015 14:20

Wait. My "inner side"? What the hell?

Vickeh 15

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:09

I feel ya OP. Some people are just tactless...

19990231 29

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:10

What happens in vagina stays in vagina.

brasiliano 16

Saturday 3 January 2015 3:37

You sir just won the internet for today.

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Saturday 3 January 2015 6:56

Technically the fart happened outside of the vagina.

LaColombianita 26

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:10

Lmao that's hilarious, but I definitely would have kept that as an inside joke between the 2 of you only..

NightHawk387 22

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:14

I think it should be pointed out that is not what a cumfart is.

Exodiafinder687 58

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Saturday 3 January 2015 2:02

Do I even want to know? Do any of us even really want to know? Still somebody will Google it. Just keep a bucket or trashcan nearby for when you Google it.

krystenk93 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:08

#22, There is always Urban Dictionary for stuff like this!

ChevyLovzYou2 21

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:21

It's when after a guy shoots his load into a girl's butt, she farts the semen out... gross right?

False_Stupidity 41

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Saturday 3 January 2015 22:30

You just HAD to go and share that, didn't you #48. I WAS enjoying my breakfast....

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Sunday 4 January 2015 9:50

71 extra glaze for those cinnamon rolls?

cdncw 20

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Thursday 23 April 2015 17:39

Someone had to explain it! :D

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Saturday 3 January 2015 1:14

Blew two loads.

Nearly

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