Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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AngryNinja
| 1
that is uncalled for. I hope you left.
Reply
killerviral
| 0
for a secodl", I thoguht he was going to rape u
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AVainAttempt
| 0
This is obviously fake..
Reply
AngryNinja
| 1
not really. my dad farts on my mom all the time. i think it's a dominance thing. -.-
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Bennjie
| 0
why would your dad do that? I mean It's so wrong... just doing that :/
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fisheatsbear
| 6
maybe it's turns your mom on
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natedog193
| 0
she doesnt need to dump him. he was just messin with her. i can undetstand her gettin pretty mad though
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Rocco1990
| 0
it's something men do. Who ever tells OP to dumb him is really dumb.
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z3r0nline
| 0
wtf what kin of parents do u hav farting on ur mum??? anyway slap him nd just be pissed
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Tripout
| 0
it only means he loves her XD
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AngryNinja
| 1
he's like.. scenting his territory. i find it repulsive. if my boyfriend/husband ever tried that, i'd shove a cork up his ass.
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9010649
| 3
Lol
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42billybob
| 5
I'm noticing a pattern here:
1) guy has an idea
2) girl notices him start something and expects something romantic/sweet/(insert delusion) automatically
3) guy's idea is a prank/joke/something she wasn't expecting
4) girl writes FML
5) females reply to dump him
6) males reply back 2 the kitchen
1) guy has an idea
2) girl notices him start something and expects something romantic/sweet/(insert delusion) automatically
3) guy's idea is a prank/joke/something she wasn't expecting
4) girl writes FML
5) females reply to dump him
6) males reply back 2 the kitchen
Reply
TrekkieGirl
| 0
@# 73, you are so right about the pattern.
However, I must admit that this FML did make me laugh. Though if that ever happened to me, I have to kick my guy's ass. So gross!
However, I must admit that this FML did make me laugh. Though if that ever happened to me, I have to kick my guy's ass. So gross!
Reply
Ajjas013
| 6
Foreplay fail :)
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crazed123
| 0
ikr
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idkweird
| 0
I will forever be grateful that I've never had a boyfriend that immature.
Actually, the closest to that was my ex-fiance who would just fart around me all the time and laugh about it....he's 43...
My current would never dream of that. I just will never see the humor in farting on someone.
Actually, the closest to that was my ex-fiance who would just fart around me all the time and laugh about it....he's 43...
My current would never dream of that. I just will never see the humor in farting on someone.
Reply
Shamzzz
| 0
That sounds wrong .
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marc33
| 0
comooon don't act like u don't fart.... I fart anywhere if I need to!!!! it's just ur body releasing some extra air.... so what..!!?? lol
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ey3seecold
| 0
u should lay him down sit on his face and take a shit when he yells ahhhhh!!!
Reply
jillz
| 0
If she chooses to stay, she could reward him by soaking his favorite attire in the sweetest, most feminine smelling perfume.
She could also put some garlic and onion in his shoes. People will just ~*love*~ him wherever he goes.
Or she could smear some chocolate in the backs of his underwear and wash them. He just *might* be less likely to notice something similar to a track stain than any other person would be.
Ooh, or she could use window markers and ...write Gay Pride on his vehicle along with messages of world peace, brotherly love, how we should respect our trees, and how Obama is so sexy.
(nothing against homosexuals - been meaning to find a gay guy I can *safely* go shopping with anyhow :p - straight guys might have ulterior motives and all that jazz)
((this whole post was a joke))
She could also put some garlic and onion in his shoes. People will just ~*love*~ him wherever he goes.
Or she could smear some chocolate in the backs of his underwear and wash them. He just *might* be less likely to notice something similar to a track stain than any other person would be.
Ooh, or she could use window markers and ...write Gay Pride on his vehicle along with messages of world peace, brotherly love, how we should respect our trees, and how Obama is so sexy.
(nothing against homosexuals - been meaning to find a gay guy I can *safely* go shopping with anyhow :p - straight guys might have ulterior motives and all that jazz)
((this whole post was a joke))
Reply
EwigStolz
| 0
Yeah....... Because you've never thoughtfully executed any revenge on your boyfriends before. That's just way above you.
Reply
infiniti_G
| 0
Why were you on the couch instead of in the kitchen? YDI
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deathcab7
| 0
ohh how classy. thats cute. :/ haha. fyl op.
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tman118
| 0
that's true love
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g124124
| 0
that would be the first hillarious fart fetish I know of
Reply
KASHMIR_fml
| 0
u got a fucked up family sweetheart
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loski87
| 4
lmfao @ #120
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truthisRelative
| 0
no offense but remind me to never, ever puss you off. I like your ideas though.
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Reyo
| 2
He has claimed you. You are now his territory. Think of it as if it as the relationship held between a Butterfly and cocoon, except by Butterfly I mean his penis.
Reply
eric780
| 0
@73,haha YOU GOT IT
that was funnier than any FMLs on here
that was funnier than any FMLs on here
Reply
Lolcopterplz
| 0
thts fukn gross. keep ur sht sanitary
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asianbeanerman
| 0
id say foreplay win
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leonq8
| 0
lol that show how far is your reLation lol
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mattmadden
| 0
Talk about no respect for you whatsoever OP. Dump that disgusting disrespectful bastard.
By
heeheehoo
| 0
Ditch the bastard.
Reply
vtsocks
| 2
lots man hating lesbos here! it's a sign of comfort in the relationship and love! Plus it's funny : )
Reply
AngryNinja
| 1
it's not funny. it's demeaning and vile. i'm straight and i would dump that asshole in a second.
beside the fact that around half of the guys posting on here find it gross.
beside the fact that around half of the guys posting on here find it gross.
Reply
Ajjas013
| 6
You see what malicious TV programming like Barney does to our citizens?!
Reply
KayBizz
| 0
lmao ^
Reply
marc33
| 0
goddd, u must be alien...! and don't fart, huh? lol
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vampyre_girly
| 0
" I love you, you love me. I'm a happy farting tree. " gosh I hate barney. I have a small dartboard with barneys, my sisters, and Mileys face on it. Hehe
Reply
g02hell
| 2
shut the hell up. don't act like you don't fart princess.
p.s
no one gives a shit what you find demeaning
p.s
no one gives a shit what you find demeaning
Reply
MwahFMLS
| 6
I don't see why you are raging, I agree with her. This isn't about farting (though it's not flattering at all) it's about the farting in his girlfriends face because he found it somewhat humorous. You don't even have to be a gentlemen to not fart in someones face. Disgusting..
By
drbombay
| 0
dump that motherfucker
Reply
sammy22
| 0
sorry! but that's bullshit!!
Reply
scuba1722
| 0
I can see it now...
today, my girlfriend broke up with me for farting on her... fml!
today, my girlfriend broke up with me for farting on her... fml!
Reply
intint50
| 0
^win.
By
chih
| 0
I hope you smack the shit out of him.
Get it? butt jokes...
Get it? butt jokes...
By
JoeJonasAnnoysMe
| 0
What an ass. No pun intended. Smack the crap out of him.
By
TehFuzzyOne
| 0
OWNED. just kidding. that stinks. (get it?)
By
sydneyanne
| 0
ewww what a fuckin asshole
By
Jokro_fml
| 0
Hahahahahahahaha
By
JackStone96
| 4
eww that's just gross... smack the crap outta him or dump him... either works (get it dump
Reply
drips
| 0
dump that load of shit
By
fifilabella
| 0
fukin guys!!!
Get it? butt jokes...