By Anonymous - 6/5/2020 14:00

Sharing is caring

Today, nine months after changing my entire life when my father had a stroke and I became his carer full time, I called my sister to talk about some his irrational behavior. All I got in response was, "I just watched a sad movie, I can't deal with this right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1641

You deserved it

93

Tweet

Share

The opposite of a good idea

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Live dumping

By Ugggggggggg - 6/11/2012 05:11 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36421

You deserved it

4834

Tweet

Share

By nocatlover - 21/1/2010 21:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31588

You deserved it

3369

Tweet

Share

By VerbalDiarrhea - 8/1/2012 07:34 - United States

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39872

You deserved it

12001

Tweet

Share

By ugh mom! - 22/4/2020 20:00

Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath

Today, my ridiculously paranoid mom was almost arrested after she caused a huge scene outside her apartment's leasing office. She demanded to pay her rent with a money order, even though they’re only accepting online payments due to the quarantine. She thinks they’re trying to steal her information. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1612

You deserved it

152

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44028

You deserved it

4689

Tweet

Share

By muffinmen1022 - 20/2/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46275

You deserved it

11788

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/3/2012 17:31 - United States - Vista

Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35717

You deserved it

5689

Tweet

Share

By doglover - 3/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51997

You deserved it

4737

Tweet

Share

By UhhhUhhhRRRick - 5/3/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55946

You deserved it

4361

Tweet

Share

By moduschic - 19/10/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23799

You deserved it

17395

Tweet

Share

By loserman - 29/4/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60582

You deserved it

3759

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/4/2020 05:00

Stuck in the past

Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1265

You deserved it

364

Tweet

Share

By nj - 10/2/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, in basketball practice my coach was putting is in teams to run drills. He points to me and says, "You, go babysit my son by the stage." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32021

You deserved it

3006

Tweet

Share

By DanniRae - 13/3/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35206

You deserved it

70479

Tweet

Share

By Grandmas lost it - 28/8/2013 04:48 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39632

You deserved it

3502

Tweet

Share

By EunJung - 4/11/2011 00:16 - United States

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47611

You deserved it

4228

Tweet

Share

By lemonchips - 12/10/2015 21:28 - Norway

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24310

You deserved it

2947

Tweet

Share

By hatboxghost - 9/7/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65782

You deserved it

7690

Tweet

Share

By unfortunate - 25/4/2012 04:50 - Sweden

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22965

You deserved it

10396

Tweet

Share

By it's shitty, yeah, stfu - 7/3/2013 17:10 - Sweden - Trollh?ttan

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37196

You deserved it

2621

Tweet

Share

By 2ndgenoration - 17/5/2014 21:56 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50475

You deserved it

4106

Tweet

Share

By Marcowalker95 - 7/8/2012 04:16 - United States - Panorama City

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24481

You deserved it

7032

Tweet

Share

By Jex - 6/10/2012 10:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38718

You deserved it

4244

Tweet

Share

By Nekro_Kat - 10/8/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34681

You deserved it

3879

Tweet

Share

By sad_panda - 26/6/2009 19:48 - United States

Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46095

You deserved it

6919

Tweet

Share

By megmo7 - 4/10/2010 08:24 - United States

Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28314

You deserved it

4325

Tweet

Share

By TheNewSalesRep - 21/1/2016 02:37 - Canada - Brantford

Today, on my second day at my new job, my supervisor told me that I was ready to make a sale on my own. Things were going well, until said supervisor interrupted my sales pitch, apologized on my behalf for being new, and stole my sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22278

You deserved it

1333

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/10/2015 12:16 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26269

You deserved it

6642

Tweet

Share

By queenariii - 28/6/2016 05:55 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I'm stuck in a ramshackle house that my aunt bought and moved everyone out to. Only one bathroom works, and she won't let us flush it because the house keeps flooding. Four people are stuck here with just one toilet filled with poop and urine, while she's been staying at a friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11830

You deserved it

981

Tweet

Share

By EnglandRocks - 12/3/2015 18:03 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement to the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40159

You deserved it

2738

Tweet

Share

By eyeleanify - 10/12/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7718

You deserved it

55729

Tweet

Share

By Venus - 13/3/2014 22:28 - United States - La Crescenta

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32154

You deserved it

12476

Tweet

Share

By Jake Leiter - 20/3/2016 18:12 - United States - Grantham

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21829

You deserved it

1208

Tweet

Share

By No Job - 1/10/2015 01:42 - United States - Prairieville

Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13294

You deserved it

30411

Tweet

Share

By Gross... - 16/8/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38476

You deserved it

3249

Tweet

Share

By random1456 - 13/6/2019 18:00

Today, my credit card got declined while I was buying anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2070

You deserved it

175

Tweet

Share

By Goblin Girl - 1/8/2012 05:46 - United States - Katy

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25351

You deserved it

2225

Tweet

Share

By Hannah - 22/3/2012 17:21 - Ireland - Wexford

Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25066

You deserved it

10832

Tweet

Share

By Laci - 30/4/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36678

You deserved it

23098

Tweet

Share

By skatergrrrl - 15/2/2010 18:40 - United States

Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait 5 years for a rink to open in my town, 2 weeks for my lessons to begin, but only 10 minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26181

You deserved it

4172

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7903958 - Wednesday 6 May 2020 18:16

She sounds stupid, so discussing such matters with her would be a waste of time anyways.

Talk to a professional and look for support groups for stroke victims and their families.

By Cowgirl1293 | 22

#7904145 - Thursday 7 May 2020 8:38

Oh I would get extremely petty with her. I would then call her every day to every other day, stating that you need to discuss your father's behaviors and problems with her.

Comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7903958 - Wednesday 6 May 2020 18:16

She sounds stupid, so discussing such matters with her would be a waste of time anyways.

Talk to a professional and look for support groups for stroke victims and their families.

By Cowgirl1293 | 22

#7904145 - Thursday 7 May 2020 8:38

Oh I would get extremely petty with her. I would then call her every day to every other day, stating that you need to discuss your father's behaviors and problems with her.

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7904350 - Friday 8 May 2020 1:15

When this lockdown is over, go over to her house, and deck her. Give her a real reason to cry.